Day 39- A Pissing Contest

This isn’t my “usual” mommy blog.  This isn’t really about MY children.. but it is about children... so I am going to go with it.  Its much more political than I usually go, but those of you that know me, know that I have a very hard time biting my tongue when it comes to things I am passionate about... so here it goes....

My mom had up a post on her FB wall about the Governor of NJ making it mandatory that NJ flies its flags at half staff to honor Whitney Houston.  I am going to included my mom’s post, as well as my response.  I am going to leave out everyone else... except one lady who left a post on my response... but then deleted it because she didn’t want to start a “pissing contest” (her words) with me.  Now keep in mind I have NO idea who this woman is, but her response infuriated me SO much that I HAVE to put my response to her out there.  Also, please keep in mind that my mom’s FB is private, as is mine.  I took a few uncalled for stabs at Governor Christie, they were hits below the belt that really have nothing to do with his lack of competence as a position of power in the state of NJ.  Since I am now making my response public, I want to publicly apologize for the comments about his large ass.

My Mom’s FB Status:

Mom: OK so I was trying to let this go but those of you who know me know I can't let things go.. Let me start this by saying I am very sorry for Whitney Houston's. death. Her daughter will suffer for a long time because of her mothers addictions..
But Really Gov. Christie making it mandatory in the state of NJ to fly flags at half staff for Whitney is ridiculous. She was a singer not a Hero !!! how may flags have been flown half staff for our military hero's or dr's who save lives everyday??

Me: Really mom?? You can't let things go? haha.. now don't get me started on Christie! haha.. he is a total asshole tool-bag that has his priorities backwards and shoved up his own very very large ass.. You are right.. it is sad that she died. Addiction is a sad disease.. and its a shame that she lost her battle with it.. but like you said, she was not a hero... if NJ had its flags at half staff for every person that lost their battle with addiction.. it would never be a full staff. Maybe instead he should put funding BACK into school.. and into funding that gives kids an education of what the dangers of addiction can do.. put enough teachers in the class-rooms and hallways to really be able to monitor our youth and prevent them from falling into this cycle. There are so many poor districts in NJ that NEED the funding that HE cut... those kids can't get the education to break the cycle of addiction and crime in their poor neighborhoods... no lets not try to prevent problems by helping our youth.. lets as a state honor an addict. Asshole

And here is the response that was later deleted by the author.. again, I don’t know her, or anything about her. I am not going to include her name or initials, because I am posting this on my mom’s wall as well, if the person reads this.... she knows who she is:

"Richelle as far as putting the money into the poor districts it doesn’t work because these kids have no home life of home support n without that the schools cannot do their job properly n I am tired of paying for these parents that cant take care of their kids n raise them properly, all the money in the world cant stop their parents from their personal problems. The education is there they r not taking a hold on what they have in front of them. Education begins at home the teachers job is not to raise them.or teach them right from wrong! I am not a teacher!!!!! I am a dental assistant so don’t think Im saying this because I am a teacher!!!! Just a taxpayer tired of hearing about education for these kids!!!! I don’t always agree with everything Christie does either just saying!"

Ok.. I was going to let this go, but I literally lost sleep over this last night.  I know that she isn’t the only person that thinks this way.. so I just HAVE to throw my two-cents in there.  So Here I go.

To the person who left that message.. and anyone else that follows this line of thinking:

You really did not have to point out that you are not a teacher, it is very clear from your point of view of America’s troubles youth that you really do no know very much about NJ’s education system, nor do you care to fix it.  I will say that you are right in that a lot of the students that live in poor districts that are ridden with drug problems do not have a great home life.  They often have parents that are stuck in the cycle of drug addiction themselves, or that are in and out of jail for various reasons.  You are also right in that many of the parents in these situations do not know how to properly raise their children, they are stuck in an ongoing cycle of poverty, drug addiction, and crime... they themselves probably did not have the best upbringing.  But while you say this from the comforts of upper middle class, I am going to go ahead and assume that you have always lived an comfortable life.  You have probably never had to walk down streets on your way home from school and be scared for your life, you have never had to be terrified that when you came home from school you might find mom or dad overdosed in the living room.  You probably also never had the pressure of having to join a gang because that may be the only way you can get protection in your crime-ridden neighborhood.  I can say all of these things because while I do not know you personally, I know what school you went to, and it is not one of a poor community.  

So what do YOU suggest we, as a community do?  Do we tell those poor kids, sorry for your luck, sorry you got brought into the world by drug addict parents, sorry that you weren’t lucky enough to be born into the upper-middle class?  Sucks for you, but I am sick of my hard earned tax dollars paying for your education?  I am “tired of hearing about education for these kids?”... after all... if you were born into an unfortunate situation your just not worth it?

Unfortunately many of the students in poor districts hear from home that they are not worth it.. they are told they are a burden to their parents, and if they are not physically told, they feel it.  For many of these students, school is their safe haven.  Teachers and coaches are their heroes.  Unfortunately, yes, maybe students in poor districts do fall back into the cycle of poverty, drug abuse, and crime, but there are students that fight like hell to get out of there.  Those students would not have a chance in hell if it were not for the tax dollars that go into schools.  For some of these students, the only chance they have of getting out of the cycle is their education, and WE as a community owe it to them to give them the same one as those students LUCKY enough to be born into communities like the one that YOU lived in.

I was a teacher, so let me educate you on what happens when schools lose funding essential to educate their students.  The first thing that gets cut is after school activities.  I always hear the argument that “I don’t think my tax dollars should go to sports/clubs anyway, if a kid wants to play a sport his parents should have to pay for the equipment.”... This argument is all well in good in districts that the parents can afford to pay for extracurriculars, but unfortunately the poorest districts do not have this luxury.  Taking after school activities away is a death sentence to some of these students.  There was a teacher that I used to work with that always said football saved his life.  He grew up in a poor district, did not have the best home life, but he formed a great relationship with his football coach, and having something so do each day after school kept him off of the streets.  Football was his ticket out of the ghetto, and this is the case for many students in poor districts.  After school activities keep them busy, out of trouble, and off of drugs.

Next thing that gets cut is “extra” spending.  When I say extra spending I do not mean for a new luxurious teachers room, nor I have ever once walked the halls of a school and seen piles of money, your precious hard-earned tax dollars.. When I say extra spending,  I mean for new books, technology and various resources that students in affluent districts have the luxury of.  Many poor districts simply do not have up-to-date resources.  So when you say the “education is there”... its really not.  Its not the same education that is going on in the more well-off districts.  Taking funding away from these schools is telling these students, “you are not worth the same education, you are just going to waist it anyway.” 

And finally, when you take funding away from school, teachers get cut, as do coaches and various other essential staff.  You say “Education begins at home the teachers job is not to raise them or teach them right from wrong!”.. sure.. in a perfect world the education would start at home.  Parents would teach their children right from wrong.. but what if those parents never were never taught?  Teacher do more than teach a lesson for 40 minutes a class, teachers are mentors and roll models for so many students.  In these poorer districts, teacher are often the ONLY positive roll model in the student’s life.  Great teachers change lives, and in the cases of the students in less than fortunate situations, great teachers save lives, as do great coaches, and other school staff and faculty that is often on the chopping block when school funding is cut.  Cutting teachers means very large class sizes, prohibiting teachers to build one on one (sometimes life saving) relationships with students who so desperately need it.

So when you say “Richelle as far as putting the money into the poor districts it doesn’t work”... I would say, when then does work?  What is your master plan?  Because telling these students that they are SOL because of the cards there were dealt is not an option that I can get behind.  Maybe you suggest that we just buy them all crack pipes with your tax dollars?  Maybe they will all OD and the problem with be solved.. because obviously (to you),  those kids less fortunate are just not worth it.  That would certainly solve your problem of “hearing about education for these kids”, what an unfortunate “problem” for you, as you sit watching from upper middle class..really, truly, heartbreaking.