Our Vacation

Last week we were on vacation, our first big family vacation as a family of 4.  Sure, we have gone to NJ to see family, but this was a trip to the Outer Banks, NC.  The drive from Canada to NC (yes, I said drive, we are still terrified to fly with the children) is 14 hours, we decided that doing this trip straight through was completely insane, so we decided to head to NJ on Thursday, leave for NC Sunday, stay until Friday, head back to NJ, then on Sunday drive from NJ to Canada.  In total, we were in the car for about 36 hours in 10 days... 36 FREAKIN' hours!  (More on that later)
Before I talk about what 36 hours in the car with two kids under the age of 4 is like.. I want to talk about our brief stay in NJ.  So, my daughter turned one August  9th.  Because we live in Canada, and have no family and limited friends up here, we decided to forgo the birthday party up here and plan TWO while we were in NJ.  Yup, TWO birthday parties on our two day stop in NJ.  Because both my parents and my husband's parents are divorced, it gets tricky planning things when we don't have a house to host events.  So Friday afternoon we planned a small party with my mother in law (which we really just had to show to up to, thank god!) and Saturday I planned to have one at my dad's house.  Now is the time to mention that my husband turned 30 yesterday, so I was feeling pretty guilty that I wasn't going to be able to have anything for him.. a month or so before we came home for vaca, I was having a grumpy day and told him "if you think you are getting a party for your 30th you can forget it, you moved us up here, and now we have to have 2 parties for little lady in 2 days, I just can not plan a 3rd."  He understood, but then the guilt set in.  My husband is pretty frackin' awesome.  I had to do something.  So I then had the  brilliant idea to have a surprise party for him after little ladies birthday party on Friday.  I arranged sitters for the kids, and somehow pulled it off, he had no idea, and our friends are awesome and helped with set up and food.  What I had NOT planned for was that my husband would be up drinking until 4 am with his best friend contemplating the meaning of life and solving all of the worlds problems.  I woke him up the next morning to get him to help me to get everything ready for little ladies party #2, and he was pretty  much useless.  This is how our conversation went:
Me: "D- you have to get up, its 10:30, we need to leave here in an hour to get the kids and set up for the party.  You have an hour to get your shit in gear, spend the hour how you want, but you need to get up and ready in an hour"
D-"ugghhhh"
15 minutes later he walked into the bathroom and was standing there like a zombie.
Me-"you have 45 minutes.. get in the shower and get ready"
D-"ughhh, why did you wake me up so early?"
Me-"its almost 11, its not my fault you think you are 21 and can stay up drinking until 4, we have to leave here by 11:30, get your ass in gear, I am not kidding."
D-"I think I need to eat"
20 minutes later I come out of the bathroom, ready to go, and he is standing over the sink
Me-"D-I am not joking with you, we NEED to leave in 15 minutes.  You need to make yourself presentable.. we have 25 people coming to my dads and you look like death, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"
D- "I need to eat, but I can't, I feel sick."
Me- "I am leaving now, I will take care of everything, you have ONE hour to get to my dads, I don't care how you get there, but you need to get there!"
(I called my brother and arranged a ride for him"
So off I went, by myself to pick up the kids, get little lady down for a nap at my dad's house, to go pick up the food and cake for the party, while my husband was clinging to his life and feeling ALL of the effects of staying up until 4 am.  He did show up within the hour time limit I gave him, looking much better courtesy of a wawa breakfast sandwich.
The party went along great, the kids all got along and played nicely.  It wasn't as elegant as some other parties I have been to lately, no huge spread of food, just some sandwiches, I didn't have party bags (seriously everyone just throws that shit away anyway) and when it was time to cut the cake, we didn't put a candle in it because she is one, she can't blow out a damn candle.  We gave little lady a slice of cake, and she wanted nothing to do with it (she must not be mine, little lady HATES cake!  Who hates cake?!?)  But overall, it was a nice party, as nice as it was going to be for planning it from Canada, and also planning another party at the same time!

The day after the party we headed to NC. (again, I will go into more detail about the car rides) We were looking forward to 5 days on the beach... think we got 5 days on the beach?  Not a chance.. it rained pretty much the whole week.  We got one nice sunny day that we could head to the beach.  Overall it was a nice day, we decided to try to get little lady to nap on the beach since we didn't get there until 11, when going to the beach with kids its not just a towel, sunglasses and sun screen as it was in our pre-kids days.  It is tents, and umbrellas, snacks, drinks, toys, changes of clothes.  Thinking back, I think one day was just enough, the kids both loved it, but it is just so much damn work!  The rest of the week we hung out by the pool between rain showers, went shopping, and tried to relax as much as possible with 2 kids.  We even got one night out where my mom offered to watch the kids so we got to go out for dinner, walk up a light house, and take a nice long walk on the beach.

Friday we packed up and headed back to NJ, for a 1 day recoup day from the car ride, just to get back in the car Sunday.

The car rides, OH the car rides.  As I stated earlier, we were in the car for about 36 hours with the kids in a span of 10 days.  36 hours... if you want to know what 36 hours in the car with a teething one year old is like, stab yourself in the ear with a chop stick, now have someone sit behind out and throw things at you.  The first trip to NJ was rough, little lady screamed for most of it.  It wasn't a crying scream, it was a "I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE MAKING ME SIT STILL FOR THIS LONG!" scream.  My husband says that she is going to have a future in horror films, we have NEVER heard a baby scream as loud as her.  The ride was bad, but we knew we had vacation to look forward to, so our spirits weren't too damaged.  Sure we were stressed and had developed a slight tick by the time we got there, but we knew happier times were to come.  The ride from NJ to NC wasn't AS bad.  Little lady wasn't thrilled with the trip, but we were able to keep her a little happier, but again, we knew happier days were coming so we stayed positive... now the rides from NC to NJ, and then NJ to Canada were not so great.  Little lady screamed for most of the rides.  Nothing I could do would make her happy.  I gave her something for the pain of teething, I sat with her in the back seat, I played games, gave her toys, set up a little DVD player, nothing worked... she was PISSED.  The ride to Canada was particularly horrid.  We got stuck at the boarder for over an hour, little lady screamed with anger the ENTIRE time.  At one point I told my husband I wanted out, and if he would have let me out of the car I would have walked home.  My husband and I were beyond grumpy, we were starting to turn on each other.. in that moment it was all his fault.  It was his fault we were stuck at the boarder... if he had not moved us to Canada to begin with, we would never be stuck in the car with the screaming monster.  Yup, it was his fault..

I am not sure that my husband and I will ever fully recover from our 36 hours in the car, I mean I am sure that the ear aches will eventually go away, but the huge scar it has left on our spirit will probably always be there.. it was torture, and I am not sure that we will ever be right again.  I am already dreading our ride home in October, and I can only hope and pray that little lady has her molars completely in and we can have happy ride home.  But until then, little lady has us right where she wants us, scared.

My Journey, Won't You Join Me?

In January I started a mission for myself.  Operation "Get Your Ass in Shape, Girl".  I have always been "thin."  Before I had kids I was always in decent shape, though I never really stuck to a work out routine.  After I had my son, people would  tell me "you look great for having a baby!" I kept on about 10 lbs of my pregnancy weight, and was in no rush to get it off.  I knew that we wanted another baby sooner or later, so I figured "why work my ass off now, if its just going to come back in a few months." So I was still "thin" but I was no where near where I could have been.  Two and a half years after my son was born, I had my daughter.  The pregnancy weight came off pretty quick, but I was still far from happy with the way I looked/felt.  I had a million excuses as to why I couldn't take charge of my fitness/health.  "I will work out when the baby starts sleeping though the night."  "I am a size 10, national average is 12, so I am good."  "I look better with 2 kids than a lot of people do with 0".  People would still tell me, "You look great for having two kids!!" Then it hit me.  I didn't want to look great for having two kids, I didn't want to look like I had kids.  I wanted my energy back, I wanted to be able to wear what I wanted without feeling like it was not flattering on my problem areas.  I was not feeling very confident in my mom uniform of yoga pants and t-shirts.. I needed to step up my game, and the only person that could make me do it was ME.

So in January I took the first step.  I joined a weight loss challenge that was accompanied by nutrition classes.  I needed to be held responsible, and a group setting was perfect for me.  I blogged about my mission, (week one, week two, week three, week four) The classes were a really great way to get started, they really helped me to learn what I should be eating vs what I just needed to cut out.

This is a pic of me in the beginning.  Before any classes.  I really wanted to take a "before" pic in a bikini, but I couldn't put one on without feeling totally gross about myself.  In hind-sight I wish that I would have, but I think you can see from this pic that I wasn't in great shape.  Even though I am wearing black leggings, they are not covering up the tree-trunk legs.  I have not told anyone how much I weighed when I started.. but here I go.  In my first weigh in I was whopping 162.  Yikes!  That was an all time high for me (besides the baby making).

January 2012

After 6 weeks of weight loss classes, I was down 10 lbs.  I was still not happy with where I was, I wanted to do more.  So my husband and I started P90X together.  It was HARD.  Here is a pic of me on say one.  I kept up with eating healthy and pushed myself hard.  

March 2012

We finished  the full 90 days of the program and I felt like I was in the best shape of my life.. I felt like I still needed work so I started the Brazil Butt Lift program.. my "problem" area has always been my legs/butt, so I wanted a work out that focused on them.  After P90x my weight hovered at 147 for what seemed like months.  I was getting into better shape, but the numbers weren't moving, so I decided to make another change.  I cut out all processed foods from my diet. (every once in a while I will cheat) but for the most part its fresh fruit and veggies, and home cooked meals, and limited carbs.  When I started this I didn't think twice of having a big bowl of cereal in the morning, a sandwich at lunch, and a huge bowl of pasta for dinner.  After cutting all of the crap, filling myself with nutritional food, I dropped another 6 lbs in a matter of a few weeks.

August 2012

This is a pic I took of myself this morning, I am proud to say I have abs!  Visible abs!!  Last week I bought a new bikini for our beach vacation next week, and I am so happy/proud that I will be able to wear it.  It has taken a lot of hard work (I work out 6-7 times a week).. and a complete change in diet and how I view food, but the pay back has been well worth the sacrifice.  Working out is now my "me" time, a time I look forward to every day, and when I used to look forward to a big bowl of ice cream to cap off the night, I am now just as happy with an apple and a little (all natural, organic, no sugar added) peanut butter.

I think I still have work to do.  But I wanted to share  my story to show you that if I can do it, you can do it.  I have lost 21 lbs in past 8 months.  I have gone from a size 10 to a size 6 (I haven't been a 6 since high school!)  I am not perfect, and I never will be, but I will get to where I want to be, and you can too.  I beg you, stop using your kids as an excuse to be out of shape and to eat crap.  Once you take control of your life and make YOU a priority, you will have so much more energy to share with your kids!  I know as moms we tend to put ourselves on the back burner, but its time to stop!  Its time to put the yoga pants away, and get yourself into that cure pair of jeans that you didn't think you would ever fit into again, I did, and so can you!

~Richelle

Chick-fil-a

Ok ok.. I have had just about my fill on this damn chick-fil-a crap.  If you have been living under a rock... the big wig at the chicken place doesn't support gay marriages, he donates to anti-gay foundations.. blah blah blah.  So what we have is the argument of freedom of speech, vs donating to a not so great cause.  I (for the record).. and all for Gay marriages.  I  honestly do not give a shit who gets married.. as long as they are two consensual adults.. I don't care if your both men, both women, a man and a woman.. what ever.. what you do in your home, in your bedroom, and on your legal documents is between you, your partner.. and your believe system. I could go on and on about what a douche bag I think the chick-fil-a guy is.. but I am going to address another issue we have in America.  Obesity.  They say the average American now weighs 180 lbs... and the average woman is a size 12-14. Not OK people.. not OK.  Yes.. the company has shitty-out dated beliefs.. but we shouldn't be eating there anyway.  We shouldn't be eating any fast food, we should take time to value our lives and stop putting poison into our bodies. While I strongly believe that EVERYONE should have the right to get married.. I also believe that we also ALL have the right to be healthy..so stop eating that shit!!!  I saw that there is a national "chick-fil-a" day.. when is there a national "get your ass of the sofa, out of the fast food line, go home and make a healthy meal for your family day?"  If we don't start taking care of ourselves better, some of us won't live to see the day that gay marriages are legal, so I say we do something about that.. OK?

Tis' the Season

This past weekend was "Canada Day" up here in the great north.. which is just 3 days away from the 4th of July.  They are basically the same thing.. everyone gets all hopped up on country pride.. tis' the season for BBQ's, cold beer, and fireworks.  In NJ it is illegal to set off personal fireworks, so we would pack in the car, head to a big open field and set out the blanket and wait.  I remember the anticipation of waiting for the fireworks, few things are as magical as watching the bright colors against the night sky.  My kids are too young to head out to fireworks, but it is something that I am looking forward to, I still, as an adult love fireworks, professional fireworks that is...

There is a big difference between professional fireworks and the crappy road-side stand fireworks.  Professional I love... road-side stand, I want to shove up someones ass.  Where we live in Canada the houses are basically built on top of one another.  We  thought we had a small yard in NJ, but after moving up here, I doubt we will complain about our yard once we move home. Noises echo very loudly in our crowded little community, so when one of my ass-hat neighbors decides its a good idea to set off those loud, and shitty fireworks it enrages me to no end.  There are a lot of young families that live in my neighborhood, with a lot of little kids, and every time I hear those crappy fireworks, I say to my husband "I swear if they wake up one of our children, I am going to go out there and shove them up their ass."  If you follow this blog, you know that bed time is sacred in this house, it is our sanctuary, and some days our only link to sanity.  

Somehow we survived this Canada day without sleep disruption, and our neighbors did not get a firework to the ass (barely.. one asshole across the street thought it was a good idea to set off noise makers outside of our daughters window at 11pm Sunday night, but my husband was out the door and ready to hand out ass beatings as soon as they went off, so our scared shit head neighbors ran in the house before they could have their asses handed to them).  Why people think that setting off really lame fireworks is a good celebration of independence day is beyond me. Please leave the fireworks to the professionals, but if you choose to do it yourself just know you are taking a gamble with your life, if you wake up a sleeping child some poor sleep deprived mother just may shove them up you ass.

Niagara Falls

Yesterday we packed up the whole crew and headed to Niagara falls.  We had friends that were on a road trip, and were making a 2 day stop at the falls, so we decided to meet up with them for the day.  We told little man monday night that we were going to go see big waterfalls the next day (we can't tell him things too far in advanced, because if they fall though, we ALL pay for it with wining for DAYS.)  He woke up yesterday so excited.  We told him we would be going on the Maid of the Mist, showed up a bunch of pictures, and a video of what it was going to look like, and he was beside himself.  All morning all he talked about was going to see the "big water" on the "big boat."  We decided to meet up at 1:00, which was perfect because it gave us time to give little lady a nap at home, and then go as soon as she woke up.

We woke up little lady at 11:30, we were on the road by 11:45, we live about 45 minutes away, so we figured giving our selves an hour and 15 minute would be more than enough time.  We didn't hit any traffic, we got there by 12:30, perfect!  We had a plan, and it was going to work! HA!  Annnnd then we parked, which seemed about 10 miles from where we had to be.  So there we are, a big huge stroller, little lady in the front, little man in the back, my husband pushing it, and me carrying the 45 lb diaper bag.  We were in a touristy area, and we had 10 minutes to walk from our car to the maid of the mist port, which was easily a 25 minute walk.  And of course little man had to pee as soon as we got there, so that set us back a good 5 minutes... so now we had 5 minutes to walk a 25 minute route.  I HATE being late, HATE HATE HATE it.. yes.. I KNOW that with kids, being late is par for the course, but I am usually pretty good with being places on time. We were on a mission, get to the dock CLOSE to on time, and it seemed like the hundreds of leisurely tourists were sent  to stop us.  So many times I wanted to yell at someone "YES!  PLEASE stop your ENTIRE family in the middle of the side walk so you can look at your map, PLEASE don't move over so anyone can get around, the 20 of you aren't at all in the way!"... but we got through.  We navigated our way through the crowds and made it 15 minutes late.. my shoulder and back were killing me from lugging the heavy bag, and we were panting from the near sprint we did, but hey.. it was cardio for the day, right?

So there we were, all in one piece, only 15 minutes late, our friends were very patiently waiting for us with their girls, so we took a quick breather, I fed little lady to stop any future meltdowns, and we were on our way.  I brought my moby wrap, thinking I would just pop her in there, and put the little poncho over both of us and all would be well!  Little man was SO excited in the line, kept talking about how he couldn't wait to get on the boat and see the big water, little lady was just happy to be out and was flirting away with anybody that would pay attention to her.  Everything was going perfectly.... until...

Those damn ponchos.  I ripped mine in the front so that little lady could poker her head out with me and so we would both stay dry.  Apparently little lady did not want her hands covered and that sent her into super meltdown mode.  To say she was pissed would be an understatement.  I was bouncing, rocking, shushing, anything I could think of to calm her down, and it just pissed her off more.  I ripped my poncho most of the way down so she could get her hands free, but it was too late, I had already pissed her off and she was going to let everyone around us know that her mom was an asshole.  The passengers around us were all politely looking at me and smiling.  Some of them with sympathy in their eyes, some with the fear of god "please.. please lady don't bring that screaming devil child on the boat.".. I politely smiled back and kinda shrugged as to say "sorry, I paid 20 damn dollars to get on this damn boat, screaming baby and all, THIS is happening!"  As we boarded, and little lady screamed louder and louder, the smiles turned more into looks of desperation, I was really shocked someone didn't try to bribe me to stay off.  But we got on the boat, and surprisingly little lady stopped when we got on.  I took her out of the wrap, the poncho wasn't going to keep either of us dry since it was pretty much torn in half at this point, and she wanted to go with my husband.  The boat started to move, so I asked little man if he wanted me to pick him up so he could see the waterfalls, he said yes, so I picked him up.  He took one good look around, saw the huge waterfalls and felt the mist and SCREAMED "put me down!!!!!!  I'm all done!!!!"  For the next 5 minutes he clung onto a railing and just screamed, a loud, high pitched girly screech,  then asked me to put him in his stroller.  Once in, he stared at the floor, in full shut down mode.  Every time I would ask him to look at the water, he would momentarily, scream, then look back down.  The whole time I am trying to calm him, my poncho, which is really now just a big plastic cape, was constantly catching the wind and wrapping around myself, and anyone around us.  Meanwhile little lady was getting SOAKED because she had to protection from the mist, but she loved it.  She thought it was great!  My husband and I enjoyed the views, but we got off feeling like we just ran a 10 mile marathon, soaked, and just exhausted.

After our draining experience on the boat, we decided on grabbing something to eat at the Rain Forest Cafe, which was BY FAR little man's favorite part of the day.  He really could have cared less if he saw the falls, I doubt he will be asking to go on a boat again any time soon, but for the rest of the night all he talked about were the Elephants in the restaurant, and the big green frog on the bench out front.  After we ate, little man and our friends (ADORABLE) twin girls sat around a big elephant in front of the restaurant laughing and giggling their little behinds off.  Despite our sprint to the dock, and the  meltdowns on the boat, it was a great day with the family, the kids smiling and giggling made it all worth it. :)

This Is What Happens...

I am sure you have seen the video of the school bus monitor being bullied by kids.  Its absolutely heart breaking, terrible, and disturbing to watch.  If you have not seen it here is the link.

At first I did not want to write a post about this.  I thought, "yeah, everyone knows these kids are little shit heads, and feels really bad for the poor bus monitor".. and while YES, that is what the general consensus is, the more I saw other blogs about this video, and read the comments that followed, the more enraged I got.  I think we can ALL agree these kids are shit head.. and we can ALL agree that they are due for a WORLD of repercussions for treating this woman this way (and I will get into that later), but can we just talk for a second about HOW these little fuck-tards got to be this way???

As I was reading though the "comments" of people that posted that video, I was astounded by the amount of people that believe that these kids got this was because "we aren't aloud to beat our children anymore."  As if not beating the ever-loving shit out of your children will surely cause them to be heart-less little fuck ups.  Yes, if we do not instill the fear of our fist into our children, they will FOR SURE turn into these deviant little monsters.  Seriously people?  If you think THAT is what caused these kids to be such little assholes, then either a.) you do not have children yourself or b.) you just suck as a parent.

These kids turned out to be the way they are because their parents fucked up... big time.  It has NOTHING to do with them being beat as a child or not.  My parents NEVER EVER, not even once lifted a hand to neither me, nor my brother. Sure we were disciplined, if we acted out we were grounded, we had things taken away, we had a good talkin' to about how disappointed our parents were in us.. and believe me.. hearing that your parents are "disappointed" in your actions make you feel like you are about 2 inches high, and like absolute shit.  I never once thought, "well, I don't get hit, therefor I can be a total asshole."  My parents taught me to be nice to other people, to have some fucking compassion, and if I stepped out of line, there were repercussions.

These kids are like this because their parents did not teach them compassion or kindness, and they probably have never had a single bit of discipline in their lives.  These parents probably had the motto "kids will be kids" and let the little fuckers get away with anything all the time.  These kids probably rarely heard the word "no".. and their parents more than likely just gave them everything they wanted just so they didn't hear them whine.  These are probably the parents that fight the school every time one of their little cherubs get in trouble at school, and call the school because "HOW DARE that teacher give so much homework!  Don't they know the little angel has a X-Box tournament tonight?"So no, these kids did not turn out this way because they were never hit, they turned out this way because they knew no boundaries, and probably have parents that back them up, no matter what... right or wrong.  They turned out this way because their parents fucked up, big time.

The entire time I was watching this I was thinking "I wish the bus driver would stop the bus and make those little fuckers walk home!".. but from working in schools, I know the parents would cause shit storm and probably sue the school.  I propose that these little assholes get expelled from the school they attend.  When students get expelled from school, it is the schools responsibility to pay to get the students educated, but I propose that we change that and foot the parents with the bill.  If you raise little shit head scum buckets, then YOU get to pay for them to get educated.  I read somewhere that some of the parents were complaining that they had to get body guards for their kids because so many people are outraged and want to beat the ever-loving hell out of them.. to that I say.. TOO FUCKING BAD!  I am not a proponent of violence in any way, but if one of these little fuckers got a good old fashioned ass whoopin', I would look the other way.  If the parents had taught your kid to not be such an fucking asshole, then they would not be in this situation.  I say that the parents make the kids get a damn job and pay for their body guards.  I suggest that these kids NEVER to be aloud to ride school provided transportation again... their parents should have to pay for transportation to and from school, or should have to drive them or walk them to school.. these little assholes obviously can not be trusted to walk themselves, god only knows what they would say to the crossing guards.

Obviously, I know that sometimes parents that do everything right have a kid that gets into the wrong crowd, and shit can go downhill pretty quickly... but I am going to go out on a limb and say THAT is not the case here.  This is a case of parents not doing their job to teach their kids how to be good people.  They have done a wonderful job at raising self-entitled little assholes that have no sense of compassion of basic human decency and who are also who are stupid BEYOND belief.  These little shit heads think they are above everything because obviously mommy and daddy have allowed them to believe so, why else would they harass the hell out of this sweet old lady, and be stupid enough to video tape it, put it on youtube, and think there were no repercussions?    I hold the parents, and their LACK of parenting 100% responsible for this. Assholes.

Its all his fault

I am not an overly superstitious person, I don't believe that black cats are bad luck, I will walk on cracks, and under ladders.. broken mirrors don't bother me, but there IS one thing I will NOT do. That is to talk about little ladies sleeping patterns when they are good in a god-awful fear that I will jinx it.  My husband tells me I am crazy... he says there is no such thing as "jinxing"... but he is wrong.. and I can prove it.

So last week I wrote about our date night on Wednesday.  Everything fell into place, the kids were in bed early, and we got to have adult conversation, and listen to adult music, and have dinner without little lady spraying us with her food (because she thinks its HILARIOUS) or little man encouraging little lady to spit her entire meal at is by laughing uncontrollably.  It was pretty damn great... well it was going great until my husband brought up how well little lady had been sleeping.  For the entire month before, she had been sleeping a good 11 hours, uninterrupted.  It was GLORIOUS!  I told him I was loving  the sleep, but I didn't want to talk about her sleeping patterns, they were pretty damn wonderful at the moment and I didn't want to go mess them up by talking about them.  Then he said it... the words that I wish I could shove right back down his throat.  He said "Yeah, the sleep has been nice, but I wish she would just get all of her teeth in now so we don't get too used to sleeping, and then have to go back to getting up a lot."... Why.. WHY..WHY would you wish MORE teething on us!?!  Little lady already had 8 teeth.. and she has been pretty damn over-dramatic with each one coming in.. the next to come in should be her molars, and I told him that was going to be hell.  I told him I was perfectly content with her 8 teeth, and am just fine with getting used to the sleep... but his words were already out there in the universe, after he said them there was really no hope for us.  (plus HE isn't the one that gets up with her during the week.. so what does he care if she gets them at once.. he doesn't lose any sleep over it!)

So here we are... a week later.. in the 7th layer of teething hell.  Little lady has been up every night from 1-3 hours SUPER pissed!  She isn't so much crying, as just screaming on the top of her lungs with anger.. as if she is curing her dad for wishing this on us.  When I go in her room to try to calm her down, she is happy as can be to see me, wants to play, talk and sing.. but the minute I try to put her down she has a death grip on my shirt, and SCREAMS like nothing I have ever heard.. at any moment I am really expecting her head to turn all the way around and for pea soup to come spewing out.

Last night my husband slept though the entire 2 hour ordeal... HE did this to us, and he sleeps though it!  What a turd!  He would argue that it is a coincidence.. that there are no "jinxing" sleeping patterns, and that she was going to have to start getting her next teeth sometime soon, that it is only natural... blah blah blah.. but I think I laid my facts out pretty straight here, this is obviously all his fault.

"New" Date Night

I have written about date nights in the past...  ( Date night ).. so you know that being up in Canada, we really do not have many opportunities  to get out for a few hours sans kids.  We haven't found sitters that we like, and we *should* be moving home in just a few months, so right now there isn't much of a point to trying to find one.  We have fallen into a bit of a schedule/rut.  My husband comes home from work, works out, we all eat dinner together, we put the kids to bed, then we veg out on the sofa (1/2 asleep) watching TV until it is time for bed.  It was getting kinda stale.. so I planned to pick up a bottle of wine while I was grocery shopping yesterday, turning off the TV after dinner, and sitting outside to just talk and enjoy each others company.
The night actually worked out really nicely.. as I stated, we all usually eat together, but little lady was in full melt-down mode at dinner time, so I put her to bed early, and little man fell asleep on the sofa, so my husband put him to bed early... so we got to have a meal, a WHOLE  meal, alone.  It was quiet, the food was good, we had adult music on in the back ground, and the wine was delicious, and very very much needed after a hectic, and stressful day with the kids.  After dinner, we refilled our wine, and sat outside and just talked and laughed for an hour or so.  It was the closest thing we have had to a real date in quite some time, and something I think we are going to try to do at least once a week.  It was a really nice change of pace... little lady must have sensed that something was different in our nightly routine, because an hour after I went to sleep, she woke up super pissed, and was up for almost 4 hours.  .. I guess that's what we get for having 2 whole hours of uninterrupted adult-time... and smack in the back of the head back to reality.

Book Club

Weeks sometimes go by that I do not have substantial adult interaction.  I mean I DO have a few friends that I try to get together weekly with the kids.. but lets be honest.. chasing after a VERY busy little lady, and watching little man like a hawk does not make too much room for actual adult conversation.  Our conversations usually go like this:

"So what did you... oh... no... little lady... get that out of your mouth... no... not your nose either..... this weekend?"

"um.. we didn't do too mu.... no.. no hitting.  Just ask him nicely to share his toy, yes, nicely... we didn't do much.  Saturday we went to.... ok, now he is asking you nicely back, please share.... um, we went over to the... oh.. ok... you have to go potty?  Ok Ok lets hurry up!!  Can you watch my little one?"

And this goes on for 2 hours.. leaving both mom exhausted, and never actually finishing a thought... but hey.. at least we are in it together, right?  A good friend of mine and I have started to take weekly walks together, sans kids, and they have been WONDERFUL.  I have known this girl since we moved here, but in the few times that we have walked together, I have learned more about her than I ever had on our play dates.  But still, I know I can not depend on her entirely for ALL of my adult interaction (besides my husband of course... but our conversations usually go a lot like the one above, and by the time the kids are asleep we are both so tired we veg out in a zombie-like state until it is an acceptable time for an adult to go to sleep.  (Up here it stays like out until almost 10:00... so going to bed at 8:30  just doesn't feel like the adult thing to do haha)

So anyway, I enjoy reading.  I am pretty busy with the kids, but sometimes during little ladies nap time, if little man is playing, I can catch a few minutes to breath and get lost in someone else's world.  I usually read after they go to sleep to pass the time until I can go to bed.  I joined a book club up here, and have had to cancel going to the last few meetings because I haven't had time to finish the assigned books.  My next meeting is next Tuesday, and I have barely put a dent in the book.  Last night I got to thinking... how is it that I have NO problem finishing books that I choose for myself, (I finished 50 Shades of Gray within 2 weeks, read the Hunger Games in a week, just finished the new Sookie Stackhouse book in a matter of a few days)... but yet I have had my book club book for over a month and I have barely touched it.... and then it hit me.  I was taken back to high school Honors English and how I NEVER finished a single book for the class.. I didn't want to read books that someone said I HAD to read, I wanted to read my own books.  It was like a little light went off in my head... a sad sad little light that showed just how truly stubborn I am. I shared my revelation with my husband, who laughed at me... I am fairly certain he thinks that being home with the kids for the past year has broken my brain. I then took my book club book upstairs and resolved to read it (and I did... for a chapter.. then it was 10:00 and FINALLY time to go to sleep!)

"Older" moms

begin rant.

I am 29.  I have 2 kids.  In the town I am from, this is "the norm."  My husband and I made a choice that we wanted to have kids as soon as we got married, we wanted to be young enough to enjoy them, to be able to run around with them, and we didn't want to be 60 when they graduated high school.  We probably could have spent more time for "us" when we first got married, while most of our friends were still going out every weekend, and partying, we were on diaper duty and mid-night feedings... but we made the decision to put the sleep-deprived time in early.  We both wanted to be done with the baby making by the time we were 30... and now with 2 kids.. we are done.  Its not a choice that everyone can make, some people don't find their spouse until well into their 30s... financial issues don't always pan out.. fertility problems put a kink in the plans.... and some people just want to hold on to their freedom for just a little longer.  This post is not at all about bashing anyone's decision to have children "later" in life.  It works for you, when it works for you, it is not my place to judge anyone for when they choose to have kids.
In the town we live in now.. in Canada.. it is VERY common to have kids a little later in life.  At 29, I have not met another mom my age.. or younger.  I even had one very rude woman ask me "Is THAT normal where you are from?".. I smiled and answered politely "yes, its normal where I am from.  I am not yet 30, and I am done..."  There were many choice words I wanted to say to the rude lady.. but I had to harness the Jersey bitch in me.  I have found it a little difficult to connect with many women because of the age gap.. I have found a handful that I really like.. but its a bit awkward when you are at a play date.. and they are talking about pre-menopause symptoms... and thinking about having another baby all in the same sentence. And a lot of the women I have met here have married older men.. so they may be nearing 40... but their husbands are nearing 50... and they have kids the same age as us.. so we have had some trouble finding "couple" friends we can connect with.  But again.. this is not to put down their decision to wait longer than we did.

THIS post is about my problem with those moms who are "older"... and use that as an excuse as to WHY they can't keep up with their kids.  The moms at the playground who don't watch their children because they don't have the energy to chase them.. the children who push and shove my sweet kids because they simply have not been taught better.  The kids at the play date that walk over to my little lady and steal a toy right out of her hands.. and who's mom just watches and says nothing.... the later makes the comment "kids will be kids... ugh I am too old for this!"  Listen, I really do not care WHEN you chose to have kids... but don't let your age be an excuse to be a shitty parent.  Children do not raise themselves.. and if I hear "I am too old for this" one more time.. I am going to lose my fucking shit.

ok.. end rant.

Just Let Me Hold You

My Dear Daughter,
I am reminded daily of just how fast you are growing. At 9 months old, your little body has almost tripled in size from when you were just born. When we brought you home, you comfortably fit right on my left shoulder, you used to nestle your little head right below my chin, when you were crying, it was sometimes the only place that would settle you down. I used to rock you to sleep every night like that, in your favorite place. As you grew older, you no longer needed me to rock you, you actually preferred to be put down so you can settle on your own. Letting me hold you during the day is no longer an option, you are far too busy to be bothered with cuddle time. Tonight, you had a hard time falling asleep, so I rocked you. I cradled you in my arms, and put your little head right under my chin, just like you used to like me to do. Within 5 minutes you were fast asleep. As I stared down at you, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness of just how fast these past 9 months have gone by. I absolutely love watching your personality develop, but I know one day I am going to blink and you are going to be mother yourself. As I rocked you, I thought to myself “what if I just hold her.. like this, forever.. Maybe she won’t grow up. If I can just hold her forever, she will avoid all of the pains of growing up. If I hold her forever, she will never fall down and get hurt. She will never know the pain of rejection when the little boys don’t want to play with her because she as cooties.. or the pain of heart break when her first love breaks her heart. She will never know the betrayal of a friend who talks behind her back, or a bully in school who never has anything nice to say. If I hold her forever, she will stay small, and innocent, and she will always need me.”

After 20 minutes of rocking, and staring, I realized that my plan would just not work. I knew holding you would not keep you from growing, so I placed you in your crib, I want you to experience all that life has to offer the good/the bad, you need it all. I will not hold you back, but I just have a few things to ask of you. When you fall down, please, just let me hold you. When the little boys think you have cooties, please, let me hold you. When your first love breaks your heart, please, let me hold you. When your friends stab you in the back, please, let me hold you. When the bullies have nothing nice to say, please let me hold you. When life gets hard, and all you want to do is cry, just know that your spot.. right beneath my chin, will always be yours.

~mom

FB parenting

We all know that Facebook is the world of fake perfection… It’s a pissing contest to showcase who has the perfect family, the cutest kids, the perfect home, and most tropical vacation. Or it is the exact opposite, you know…those people on your list that air their each and every problem via the web “OMG, I just got the WORST splinter, FML!” (seriously… Get a damn hold of yourself!) I have to admit that I am guilty of the first offense… I put up far too many proud momma pictures, I constantly post the hilarious sayings of my 3 year old, and the new “tricks” of my 9 month old, and each and every sweet thing my husband does for me gets a shout out. I am not a complainer by nature, so if I am having a shitty day, I simply do not post anything. I don’t like to air my dirty laundry to all of my friends and family, I keep it to myself… But it is on those shitty days that I look at my friends and family picture perfect status and the little voice in my head says “what the fuck! How is their life so damn perfect!”… But then I have to remind myself, I only post the good stuff too.. And I know DAMN well that if you are a mom, and especially at stay at home mom, your life is FAR from perfect.
Today was one of my far from perfect days. I couldn’t even tell you WHY… But some days I just feel like I am drowning.. Some day I feel like I have no fuckin clue what I am doing.. And some days I just feel so damn alone… Some days I get jealous of my husband, that he gets to leave.. He gets to talk to adults all day, and solve REAL problems…. Not plead with an unreasonable 3 year old not to dump his yogurt on the dogs head. He gets a scheduled lunch break, with adults, where I grab a bite when I have time hiding behind the kitchen wall so my 3 year old doesn’t run over and say “hey, I need that!” Then eat everything on my plate even though he just ate an entire box of Mac and cheese…, he doesn’t have to deal with a 9 month old that shits, EVERY DAMN TIME I put her down for a nap… And today? He gets to go to the driving range after work. What did I do to work out? I was supposed to do yoga, but my 9 month old refused to nap, and talked and yelled on the monitor for an hour.. So about 45 minutes into my yoga (ya know where you are supposed to be able to relax and unwind)…. I sat on the floor and started to cry. Yup, like a damn little kid I laid on the floor and sobbed my eyes out… And now.. She is supposed to be napping but is again protesting.. Which is going to completely mess up her bedtime routine. I NEED these kids to go to bed at 8, their bed time is my only link to sanity some days, and today.. Well it looks like I am going to have to settle with being crazy. My kids are by far the best thing I have ever done with my life, but some days I just can not believe how fucking hard it is.

So today, my Facebook status will be missing. Next time you are having a shitty day, don’t look though all the “perfect life” statuses of your friends, look for the missing status, and know that you are not alone. We all have shitty days, just hang on, have a glass of wine with dinner, and hopefully tomorrow you will have lots of proud momma moments that will make your friends jealous.

Day 58-Fitness update, Spinning is AWESOME

So as you know, I am doing P90X with my husband... This Sunday we go into "Phase Two".. which is supposed to be more intense than "Phase One"... I survived the first phase, so I say "bring it!"... I am actually pretty exited about the diet change in the second phase.. I get to add another carb to my diet! Woo hoo!!! :) ... but as if working out 6 days a week in this crazy-ass program wasn't enough, I have also signed up for a spinning class with one of my friends.  When I signed up, I really didn't *want* to sign up... I just really like this friend, she was in need of some motivation, so I thought "why the hell not"... I went last night with a grumpy attitude.. I was SURE I was going to hate it...

We get there.. we get ready, get in the room, the instructor helps us onto our bikes.. I was tired... I just wanted it to be over and to be able to go home and go to bed..... then the music started..and it was GOOD music.  The first song was by "The Muse"... so right away it had me a little pumped... then pretty much every song that came on after that was by a band I liked equally as much.  At one point I thought to myself "Wait a minute... I may ACTUALLY be enjoying this???"  Then.. right that that exact moment... The "Foo Fighters".. I thought.. "nope.. I don't like this.. I FREAKIN LOVE THIS!"... I realize it may be completely ridiculous to love a work out because of the music that is played.. but keep in mind that all day I listen to a variety of "Mickey Mouse Club House", "Jake and the Never Land Pirates", and "The Hulk" music.. so actual ADULT music.. that I LOVED.. was enough to have me hooked.  And the music was so well paired with the work out, that it kept me energized the entire time.  In the 29 years I have been alive, I have never found a work out I actually enjoy, and last night, I found it.  I freakin love spinning!

Now stay tuned to see how it goes along with this P90X craziness...

Day 57- I did something right

I try really hard to lead by example.  I know the "do as I say, not as I do" style of parenting just does not work.  I try really hard to demonstrate patience, flexibility, and being understanding.. all things that my 3 year old needs a little work on.  I try not to get stressed out, I try to with the flow.. I try, but I am not perfect.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  As much as I strive to be a stellar role model, there are just some days the stars to do align, I feel as though I am being pulled in a hundred directions.. and to put it simply.. I lose my shit.  Today was one of those days.  I am not proud of myself when I lose my shit, but I do accept that I am only human, and that I can not be on-point all of the time.

This week has been a difficult week.  The weather has been absolutely beautiful, and we had plans for pretty much every day.... that is until we all got sick.  I am not going to go into THAT rant again, haha, but it meant canceling all of our plans, and placing ourselves in quarantine... again. This was little lady's first cold.. and she was NOT happy about it.  And if you are reading this, you know very well that moms don't get sick days.. so taking care of two sick kids.. while you are sick yourself is not a fun walk in the park.  If I were smart... I would have made it as relaxing of a week as possible for all of us... but as you also know, my husband and I started P90X 3 weeks ago.. I figured I wasn't dying.. I could "Bring it."  Well working my ass off... while I am sick sick.. with two sick kids, on top of not getting a whole lot of sleep because of sick kids.. plus PMS.. is one recipe for a grumpy-ass Richelle....

This morning I was doing the Kenpo X Dvd (which is basically kicking and punching the hell out of the air for an hour.. fun times.. ) and little lady woke up 45 minutes early from her nap... PISSED.  Her disruption in sleep only pissed me off even more.. not at her.. but at the girl who brought he sick kid to my house... So I go get little lady.. bring her downstairs... all while fuming that little lady should be sleeping.. and I should be working out... put my DVD back on.. and the dog walks over to my work out matt and throws up.  So what do I do?  Did I use this as an opportunity to show my three year old patience and compassion by stoping my work out (again) and making sure the dog is OK?  Of course not... I screamed at the dog "Robbi!!  STOP!!!  I REALLY HATE YOU SOMETIMES!"  I immediately felt like an asshole.  Poor Robbi.  She puts up with SO much from little man, she didn't deserve that.. the look on her little face was of pure heart-ache.. and what was worse.. I just told the dog that I hated her.. in front of my kids.  I NEVER use the word hate!! (And for the record.. I love that damn dog!)  But before I could even pause my DVD and tell Robbi I was sorry.. Gray ran over to her.. lifted her sad little head into his hands, looked into her big brown eyes and said "Its ok Robbi, it was just an accident. We will clean it up.  Let me give you a hug and a kiss."  I was so proud of my little man in that moment.  Even when his mommy was displaying the way NOT to act, he stepped it up to give Robbi the love and encouragement that I should have given her in the first place.  I told him I was very proud of him, and that mommy was wrong, and that its NOT ok to yell at Robbi or anyone like that, and then I hugged Robbi.  Little man gave me a big hug and said "Its ok mommy" and gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek.

Somewhere along the line, I did something right with that little guy.

Day 56- The green snot

We have had a hell of a time making friends up here.  I have met some awesome women in the mommy group I am in.. a few of them I think I would even be friends with outside of motherhood.  But on the weekends, it is usually just my husband, the kids, and I.  We have found that it is really hard to make couple friends.  Most of the people we have met, already have very busy weekends with prior obligations, and busy social circles that existed long before we moved to Canada.  A few months ago I met a really nice woman who lives pretty much right around the corner from us.  Her and her husband are from a different part of Canada, so they don't have many couple friends either.  Last week we were chatting about how difficult it was to make couple friends and decided to get our families together for a BBQ.. which happened last weekend.
While we had a really nice time, and got along really well with the other couple.. I am just not sure if I can talk to them anymore.  They brought over their son sick.  Big green boogers hanging out of the kids nose the entire time he was here.  If you follow my blog.. you KNOW how much I can not stand this.. it is so disrespectful to bring your sick kid into MY home.. with my healthy children.  If she had given me the heads-up that he was sick.. and then I CHOSE to allow him into my home.. that would have been one thing.. but unfortunately that was not the case.  Our family was exposed to "the boogie nose" against our will.  Now myself, and both of the children are sick.  Little man had a rough night the first night.. but is coping pretty well.  I am feeling pretty much like crap... but I can take it.  What really pisses me off.. is that little lady now has her first cold.. and is handling it HORRIBLY.  She was up screaming for an hour and a half in the middle of the night last night... only slept for 1/2 hour this morning (she usually naps for 1 1/2)... and it took me 45 minutes to get her to sleep this afternoon.  The whole time she was screaming.. and looking at me with her big beautiful hazel eyes.. as if to say "Why.. Why did you let this happen to me??!"  She REFUSED to eat.. so I had to feed her the bottle through a medicine dispenser.. which really only pissed her off even more.
I am going to say this one more time... I have said it before in a previous blog.. but if you are a parent who knowingly takes your sick kid to a play date... without giving the other parents a heads-up.. you are a fucking asshole.  I don't care if you think "oh.. its just a little cold.. kids get colds..." if YOU choose to expose my children to illnesses, without the consideration of telling me first.. then I probably shouldn't be friends with you to begin with.

Day 55- Last day at FC

For those of you following my journey with my weight loss classes, last night was my final class.  I didn’t win the challenge  … but then again, I really did not expect to.  Out of 10 moms, I came in 4th place.  The percentage between 3rd and 4th place was a whopping .02 %.. so I was pretty damn close to winning some cash haha.  It was so great to be in the group, and to see the other women do so well.  I lost 11lbs in the 8 weeks that the competition was going on, I am not sure how much 3rd place lost… 2nd place lost 15 lbs, and 1st was 25 (25 lbs!  In 8 weeks!!!  That is just crazy!!!) !  These women worked their asses off (literally).. and I was really proud to be a part of a group of moms that said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! ITS ME TIME DAMN IT!.”

In the beginning of class SFT did our measurements, and I am happy to say that my measurements are now all in the healthy range.  My muscle mass, BMI, and Body fat are all in the “good” range, and I have lost several inches over the past 8 weeks.

I will continue my weekly fitness/health updates, as I started P90X last week.. and I am really looking forward to seeing my STATS at the end of the next 3 months!

Stay motivated ladies, summer is just around the corner!!

Day 54- It will take over your life

Seems as though I have fallen off of the earth again.  It looks like writing every day is not a realistic goal for me.  I am just running out of hours in a day.. and the little bit of time I do have left over, I am exhausted, from head to toe, and can not seem to think of anything of substance.  What is taking all of my energy you ask?  Besides having two kids, a dog, and a house to take care of?  P90X.  I got the brilliant idea to devote an hour + a day to working out a few weeks ago, but I brushed it under the rug, because lets be real here.. I didn't think I  had that kind of time!  A friend of mine was doing the program, so I asked him how he liked it, and he said it is hard, but he was seeing results.  This friend was "built like olive oil" (his words.. not mine!).. so I thought, hey if he can do it, I can do it!  His wife caught wind that I was thinking of it and quickly emailed me and said "DO NOT DO IT!  It will take over your life!"... I thought shit! I don't have time for that.. forget it.. I'm not doing it!  Until a week and a half ago.  I was chatting with a fellow mom (with a KILLER body) that I was thinking of starting p90x.. and she very strongly encouraged me.  She told me it was worth the hour a day, and it was a real life changer.  So when I got home, I mentioned this conversation with my husband, and he quickly jumped on board before I could even finish my sentence.  My in-laws happened to be in town, so he asked them to watch the kids, and we went on our quest to find P90X.  And that was the beginning of the end.

The next day we started the program... and it is kicking our asses.  The first day we got 40 minutes in (to a back and shoulder work out) and my husband (who has been working out his shoulders and back for about 6 months now) called it quits because he was getting dizzy and felt like he was going to throw up.  Awesome.  Me.. with my little chicken wing arms could barely do any of the exercises... it was an hour of push ups and pulls ups.  I collapsed flat on my face multiple times.  We knew that we were in over our heads.. but we just spent $140 on this damn program.. we were too far in to go back.  The first week was brutal.  I found myself literally yelling at the tv "F- YOU Tony Horton!  You're an asshole!"... but the first week came.. and the first week went... and guess what.  We survived it.  I couldn't quite do all of the exercises correctly, I am still learning.. but we are doing it.  The exercises are intense, but I am already seeing/feeling results.  Just sunday night we did the second round of shoulders and back.. I could do all of the exercises.. and my husband did the whole thing without wanting to throw up!  Progress!

If you know anything about the program, you know that it comes with a pretty strict diet.  If I thought that SFT was strict, man was I mistaken!  It is protein, protein, oh.. and more protein... with 1 little tiny serving of carbs a day.  So when I am not working out to 1- 1 1/2 hours a day, I am preparing meals to go along with this damn routine.  (side note.. I have been trying for YEARS to get my husband to eat right.. and he refused... but the program says that he should..and suddenly he is analyzing every little thing that he eats.)  So thinking back to my friends email, when she said "DON'T DO IT!  It will take over your life!" She was absolutely right.  We are eating, breathing and sleeping this damn program... it has taken over, but I am OK with it... This summer I will be able to wear a bathing suit without cover-up shorts... I could even wear a bikini if I wanted.... if it weren't for these damn stretch marks!

Oh.. and if your wondering what the hell we do with the kids while we are working out... little lady jumps in her jumper.. and little man rides his tri-cycle around the basement.. running into us every few minutes so that is a lot of fun.  Between him on his bike.. and the dog chasing him because he has her bone.. its really like an obstacle course... bonus calorie burning!

Day 53-The Road not Taken

Yesterday a friend of mine from art school added me on facebook.  I have not spoken to him in a few years, we took different paths in life.  While we both went to school for art, both painters, both became art teachers, but I chose to prioritize having a family and being with them as my #1 goal, and he his painting.  He eats, sleeps, and breaths painting, and it is very obvious in his work.  I have always been completely amazed by his abilities with the paintbrush.  Check out his work here. (See... amazing!) When he created a studio in his garage, he told me I could come over any time and work, but I was planing a wedding, got pregnant and just did not have the time to devote.

Yesterday while I was looking though his work, I couldn't help but wonder.. what would life be like if I had also chose that path.  What if I put my painting as my number #1 priority.  I like to think that I could have made it.. I once had a professor get very frustrated at me and tell me that I had the talent, I could do great things with my art, but I did not put the time in.  And she was right, if I had worked harder and painted more, I probably could have been something great.  What if I put more time in, I could be in galleries, art shows, and would be as inspiring to others as my friend is...

After I threw myself a pity-party of what could-have been... I stopped and looked around at my life.  I could have been a great artist.. but how fulfilling would that have been to me?  Maybe my art would hang on a wall of a gallery.. but who would have been waiting for me when the big gallery party was over? My paintings couldn't love me back. I certainly wouldn't have time for a family.  I could have been a great painter..  but I am a great mother.  I am a good wife... and for now I am an OK artist, and I am fine with that.  The kids will get older.. and I will eventually have more time for myself, so maybe then I will focus more on my art.  But for now, as I look down the road not taken, I could not be happier with the path I chose.

Day 52- The day my world changed

Today my little boy is 3 years old.  Where the hell has time gone?  I could go on and on about what an amazingly wonderful little boy he is.  I could gush about how generous, funny, sweet, fast-to-smile, smart, and caring he is.  I could tell you that he is an absolutely amazing big brother, and always tries to make his little sister happy.  I could tell you how proud I am to be his mom.  But this post isn't going to be a sappy my-kid-is-the-most-amazing-3-year-old-in-the-world post (lets be real... we all already know that ;) ).. but this post is going to be about why his birthday marks the anniversary of the most important day of my life.  The day my world changed.
They say that motherhood starts when a women gets pregnant.  And sure, it does... to a point. I knew the decisions I made no longer only effect me. I knew that for the next 9 months, I was in baby boot camp, and it was my job to read every baby book I could get my hands on. But once my beautiful baby boy was born, I realized that the 9 months leading up the birth of my baby, there way no way I could have prepared myself.  There were no amount of baby books, baby classes, or advice from seasoned mother that could have prepared me for the colossal change that was about to happen.  And it happened immediately.  As soon as he came out and was placed on my chest, the world changed.  There was nothing else in the world that mattered to me at that moment.  The amount of love that I felt for that little screaming, naked, slimy little man was completely overwhelming.  I really had no idea that I could love another person so intensely and so deeply.  My relationship for my husband immediately changed as well.  He was no longer just my husband, but he was the father of our child.  We made a person (just the thought of that still blows my mind).. and we at that moment tied to each other for life, we were now a family.
The day my son was born, I was born also.  I received a new purpose in life, and it was keeping my little man safe.  It was my job to love that little guy with everything that I had.  It was my job to put his needs before mine.  Sure there are sacrifices with motherhood, but they are all sacrifices that are totally worth it.  Do I sometimes miss the Richelle yesterday?  Sure.. admittedly I do sometimes miss the freedom that I once took for granted (ya know.. to take a shower without an audience.. or to pee without someone watching.. the little things haha)... but when I look at that little guy today, I am reminded that his birthday 3-6-09 is the most important day in my life.  It was the day I became a mom.

Day 51-Date Night

When we lived in NJ, we could pretty much go out when ever we wanted.  The kids have THE BEST grandparents anyone could ask for, who really just want to spend as much time with them as possible.  We could count on AT LEAST 2 date nights a month, my Mother in law needed her little man sleep over at least once a month, and so did my mom.  It was wonderful.  Things have changed quite a bit...being up here in Canada, our date nights are few are far between.  When we moved here my husband's boss recommended his niece as a baby sitter.  His 16 year old niece.  We have NEVER left the little people with anyone other than our parents, or very very good friends, and little lady usually won't let anyone put her to sleep but me, so I knew that a 16 year old was just not going to have the patience to deal with a very "spirited" little munchkin.  While the offer was nice, we had to decline on the 16 year old, I am too much of a spaz to leave my children with a kid.  Our dates nights are limited to when we have either my mom, or my mother in law come up to Canada... which is maybe once every other month, if we are lucky.  We got really lucky this past month and had them come on back to back weekends, so we fully took advantage of having TWO whole date nights in two weeks!
Last weekend we went and saw a movie, then when out to dinner, it was nice, and pretty typical for a "date".. besides the fact that we were home by 8, and I was in bed by 9, haha.  Little lady is still a difficult sleeper, so as much as I love my husband, and would have loved to go out for drinks and flirt the night away with him... a girl needs her damn sleep.
Last night was our second date night.. it was SUPER exciting!  (I say this in the most sarcastic way possible).. Yesterday we started p90X... I am going to give it a few days before writing a full post on it.. but judging from yesterday, this week is probably going to include some hysterical stories.  Just yesterday my husband had to stop 40 minutes into the "chest and back" DVD because he thought he was going to throw up, and I got stuck in a few of the push ups and just collapsed to the floor.  So by the time our "date" started.. we were both pretty exhausted.  First we went to buy a "George Foreman" grill, so we could healthily cook the massive amount of meat that is required for the program.. then we headed to toys-r-us to look for a birthday present for little man.. he will be 3 tomorrow.  Where the hell is the time going?!?... then we went to dinner at 4:45 to eat our "last meal" (the P90X diet is VERY high protein.. and LOW carb... sigh).. and the best part of date night?  We went grocery shopping.  Yup, I bet you can just feel the romance.  We found a brand new- enormous grocery store of the gods about 5 minutes from our house, and we were both pretty excited to check it out.  We walked it, and the place was like nothing we have ever seen.. we felt like we just did not belong there... I would go into details, but I doubt that my readers will get as jazzed about the sparkly beautiful grocery store as we were.. plus I wouldn't want to make you jealous seeing that it is ALL the way up in Canada, and most of you will not  be able to experience its glory... anyway, we stocked up on our meals for the week, slowly strolled up and down every isle, and returned home by 7:30 (I was in bed by 8:30 haha).
I know that our most recent date  night may not seem like the most romantic, or magical date ever.. trust me, at one point in time, we did have more exciting date, and hopefully we will get back there some day.  But we did it together, and that is what counts.  While shopping for a George Foreman grill, or for high protein meals does not spew love, we did it so that we could do this whole diet and work out plan together.  With two kids we lead a very hectic life, and we (like many many couple) often forget to set time aside for US.  We are doing this thing together, and even though our "date" did not include flowers,  drinks, or making out like a couple of crazy teenagers.. it was setting us up for a daily allotment of time for "us".. and I think that sounds pretty damn nice.

Day 50- off...again

Damn it. I told myself that I was going to write every day my inlaws were here.. But of course that didn't happen. This weekend has been so hectic.. And in my sleep-deprived state of mind, I forget to write till i am laying in bed, and way too tired to think of something smart..
So now.. At 9:00 Sunday night, as I lay in bed, typing this on my iPad, and cursing the blogger ap because it SUCKS balls... My brain is going into shut down mode. It is telling me "bitch..You were up till 11 last night watching a movie.. Up from 2-4 with little lady because she thought it was party time.. Then up for the day at 7:30... Go the f-to sleep". I am going to listen to what my exhausted body is telling me and I will write more tomorrow. I actually have some good topics, just no energy to write them right now. But coming this week: my first few days on p90x (I will just say that my arms are numb, and I am
Concerned that I may not be able to pickup little lady tomorrow). And our super exciting date night. Stay tuned!

Day 49- off schedule

When little lady was a new born - about 3 months old, I would dread weekends. Don't get me wrong, I loved the extra help that my husband tried to give, and loved that little man had someone to play with.. But little lady did NOT react well to changes in her schedule. She was used to me giving her every bottle, rocking her for every nap, and being the only one that changed her diapers.. When the weekend came and my husband was more than willing to help out, it just really pissed little lady off. How DARE we deviate from HER schedule! My husband would try to get up with her on the weekends to give me a break, but she refused to eat if it was him holding the bottle. Now at 6 months of age, I can say that she happily allows her dad to help with the feeding, cuddlings, diaper changes, and play time. We have settled into a nice little rhythm up here in out isolation. We (ok I)have been working really hard to find the right balance in little ladies schedule that ends in less tears at bed time, and fewer night wakings. We (I) have read numerous books on baby sleep, and how to achieve it, and this week it seemed like we had a bit of a break through. Little lady is still waking up at night.. But it's less... And we had a full 5 days of no tears at bed time.. It has been glorious.
Last week my mom was up, and little lady had a bit of a rough weekend for sleep, she got up every few hours Friday night HYSTERICAL and only mommy could calm her down. My mom, my step-dad, my husband... All fought the good fight and tried to get little lady to settle, but she was not having it. I chalked it up to the fact that we were still working out the kinks of her sleep plan, and she was adjusting. Then, as soon as they left, she settled back into "happy Kadence" and turned into a far better sleeper than we have yet to see from the little princess. Today my inlaws arrived... Guess who else arrived with them... Angry.. I-don't-want-to-go-to-sleep... And-when-I-do-I-am-going-to-wake-up-hysterical Kadence... Sigh. This little lady is NOT a fan of change... Either that or we just bore the hell out of her, so when new people come to town she refuses to sleep because she doesn't want to miss a second of the fun. Either way.. I am writing this from bed, early, because I am bracing for a night of hysterics from an extremely over sensitive, over stimulated, little love bug.

Day 48- I almost

I almost skipped writing again today... I am damn tired. Last night I was up to re-bink little lady at 1, get little man re-situated at 2, feed little lady at 3, then search the house for little mans damn "holly" car... He decided that he NEEDED it to sleep at 4 am... Sigh. I am so damn tired I can't seem to finish a...
Oh today we got our "apple" TV.. So I am pretty excited about that... I think we are officially apple whores. Anything that apple comes out with I NEED and can talk my husband into getting because its just damn cool... If only Apple would come out with some diamond earrings...
My inlaws come tomorrow, it will be nice to have visitors again so soon! I am going to try to keep writing while they are here, and hopefully not fall off the earth again... though sleep depravation has made me a little loopy, did I tell you I almost...

Day 47-off the grid

Ok.. so this isn't actually day 47..  I have missed a few days.  My mom was in town and I really just needed a mini-vaction from writing.  But I am back!  I am going to try to keep writing every day,  the longer I go without writing, the more stumped I am for ideas to write about.
It was so nice to have my mom and her fiance here for a few days, we haven't seen any family since we had been home for Christmas.  I was starting to go a little crazy.  We hung at the house saturday, had some MUCH needed drinks saturday night, shopping sunday, followed by a date night Sunday night.  My husband and I actually got out to see an ADULT movie, and dinner without a little person yelling, or taking food off our plate. It was pretty nice!  Yesterday they left, so I was in my usual "post visitor" depression all day.. but today we had a play date so I am feeling OK again.
I will say that I ate like CRAP while my mom was here, so I am REALLY not looking forward to the big weigh-in tonight!!

Day 46-Disclaimer and Apology

A few weeks ago I wrote A letter to moms who bring their sick kids on play dates.. it wasn't pretty.  I was sleep deprived, annoyed, and probably came off like a total bitch.  While I still stand behind everything I said in that letter, I do need to make a disclaimer... and a public apology.

This morning I got an email from a friend that we had a play date with that week.  She was worried that I was talking about her, because she thinks her daughter may have had a slight runny nose that day.  My heart fell to my stomach, I feel terrible that she feels like it was about her.  When I was writing that blog, I meant to put in a disclaimer that it wasn't about any of my friends. I did not even know the moms that I was writing about, they just really pissed me off. We had a few play dates in public places that week as well, play gyms etc.  As a general rule, I don't blog about my friends.  It is so hard to find mommy friends that you really get along with, so if we are friends, I am going to protect that friendship as the rarity that it is, and I promise not to put you on blast on my blog.

So I want to apologize to any friends that I may have offended.. I am truly sorry.. but just know the blogs are not about you!  And if I am not friends with you and I offended you?  Well.. I am ok with that ;)

Day 45- week 5/6 update

Last week out meeting with SFT and the lovely ladies of FC was canceled because it was valentines day. It was nice to be able to spend the night with my family, and indulge in some non-whole wheat pasta! I have been a little more relaxed in my diet over the past 2 weeks, I was still following the lower carb(ish) and high protein plan.. But I did indulge in a few sugary sweets... Well, it showed last night at my weigh in. Over the past two weeks, even though I have been working my ass off on the elliptical and Pilates, I only lost a pound. I told myself that I was gaining muscle weight, but I am kinda thinking it is because I snuck in some cookies, few chocolates, and that dinner of regular pasta. But that's ok, I am
Sticking with the plan, getting back on the wagon, and I am going to lose the extra 10 lbs.
I can say that in the beginning of this I could barely stay on the elliptical for 20 minutes without feeling like I was going throw up a lung.. Now I can easily do 40, but then I get bored. So now I am on a quest to find something I enjoy doing more than running on a hamster wheel staring at a basement wall... But no matter what... Last 10 lbs... Your going down!

Today I am thankful for Gray always making me laugh. Today he found a toy car wheel on the floor, I asked him to throw it away, and he looked at me, completely appalled, and totally serious and said "mommy! I can't throw this away! It costs money!"

Day 44- Rules to bridging the gap between mommies and their child-less friends

It happens to the best of friends.  One day you are best buds, then your friend, who was once as enthusiastic about shopping, girls nights, and gossip as you...is suddenly in the world of diapers and sleepless nights.  Suddenly she doesn’t have the time (or energy) to gossip for hours about the newest celeb couples, to go shopping for the perfect shoes, or meet up for drinks after work.  Your best friend is now wearing mom jeans, has boogers in her hair, and takes days.. sometimes weeks to respond to your texts.

When I entered into the world of mommy-hood, I was one of the first of my friends.  Many articles that I read about bridging the gap between mommy-hood, and child-less friends pretty much said that it is all but impossible, and that I needed to find “mommy” friends.  Well F-that.  I just had a baby, I was F*cking exhausted.   I didn’t have time to make new damn friends!!  I liked the ones that I had, I wasn’t about to discard them because I chose to make a little shit and booger machine and they still had their freedom!  At times it was difficult to bridge the gap.. my child-less friends just didn’t *get it* sometimes.. but I had to stop and remember, before I had kids.. and I had FREEDOM.. I didn’t *get it* either.  I have decided to make a list of rules for friends to follow on bridging the gap.  Hopefully these rules will be able to help you keep friendships of your own.

Rules for Mommies:

*Do not ONLY talk about your baby.  Yes.. he is the MOST important thing in your life.  Your whole world, when you eat, sleep, shower, and go to the bathroom revolves around this new little person.  And your best friend LOVES your new little one as well, but you have to remember that her WHOLE world does not revolve around him.  Its ok to talk about your baby, but don’t let him be the ONLY thing you talk about.. you will bore the hell out of your friend.

*When you do talk about your baby, reserve talking about baby shit (literally) with your mommy friends.  (I was recently at a mommys only dinner.. and the conversation took a turn to baby turds.. totally acceptable with mommy friends.  No one flinched when we were openly talking about diarrhea at the dinner table)  Your child-less friends will not react so nonchalantly.. they quite frankly don’t care about your babies shit, the color, the texture, or the consistency.

*Make time to call/text/email your child-less friends.  Before you had your baby, you kept in contact daily, don’t fall off of the earth because the baby is here.  Chances are your friend is missing you, a LOT, let her know that even though your life is upside down.. you are missing her as well.

*Remember why you were friends in the first place and what your similar interests are.  Maybe fashion, celeb gossip, or martinis does not interest you all that much in your sleep-deprived state, (all you want to do is sleep damn it!).. but they are some things that you are your friend bonded over.  Make time to still chat about these things, it will show your friend that she is still important, and it will make you feel more human-like.. and less like a zombie with diaper cream crusted on your skinny jeans.

*Try to stay current in what is going on in their life.  Again, this goes back to not only talking about your baby, but make sure you take an interest in her life as well.  You might not think that the umpteenth fight she had with her boyfriend over who cleans the kitchen after dinner is that important in the grand scheme of things, but if it is important to HER, you should listen and let her know that you still care.

*Make time for adult-only time.  You love your baby more than anything.  Your friend loves your bundle of joy as well.  But you know what else your friend loves?  YOU.  Its hard to be YOU when you are constantly attending to the needs of your little bundle of joy, you will be distracted, unable to finish a thought (let alone a sentence) and that's not very good “quality” time with your friend.  If at all possible, if you have a sitter you are comfortable with, take advantage of it!  Leave the little one with your partner, a grandparent, cousin (just someone you trust) and get away for a little girl time!  I know it is hard to leave your little love, but trust me, you will be so  grateful to feel like an adult, and your friend will appreciate having some time with her friend!

Rules for Friends:

*Go visit your friend after she has the baby.  Maybe babies aren’t your “thing”... but for the love of god GO see your friend.  Having a baby is the BIGGEST thing that has happened in her life, so even if you deep down hate children, get your ass in your car and go support your friend.  Isolation after having a baby can be a factor in post-pardum depression, so if you love your friend, go make sure she knows that you are not going to abandon her because she now has a baby!

*Do not be offended if your friend falls off the earth briefly.  Your friend just had her whole world taken and dropped on his head.  Having a baby changes everything, your friend’s entire schedule is being determined by a little person, so if she doesn’t text/email/call for a few weeks, try not to be offended.  She still loves you,  your friend is still in the sleep-deprived, booger-crusted, shell of a person, be patient!

*Make time for kid-friendly activities.  In my rules for mommies I asked mommies to make time for adult time, but you also need to make time for baby.  This little person is THE most important thing to your friend, and if you don’t make time to make your friend feel like this little extension of herself has a place in your life too, you can pretty much kiss your friendship good-bye.  

*Do not be offended if your friend has to bail on you to tend to her baby.  Maybe you guys had awesome plans to go to a concert of your favorite band, or maybe drinks on a friday night, but 2 hours before you need to leave your friend calls and says she has to cancel because the baby is sick, or the sitter bailed.  I know it is disappointing.. believe me  your friend is disappointed too.  Guilt tripping your friend is NOT going to help the situation.

*Don’t count her out for adult-only activities.  Yes, maybe she has had to cancel a few times because of baby-related mishaps.. but you should always give her the option to tag along to the hip new restaurant, or other fun adult-only outing.  Do not assume that because it is not a baby-friendly activity, your friend will not want to go, just give her enough time to find a sitter.  Chances are, your friend is probably starved for some adult activity!

*Do not give unsolicited baby advice!!  Maybe you have read all of the baby books, know all of the theories, and are a early-childhood expert... but please.. please.. please.. do not give your friend advice on how to parent her baby (unless she specifically asks you)  Until you have had a little one of your own, its kinda like women saying they know what its like to have a penis... we really have no clue.  Your friend likely has a parenting style all of her own (and even if you disagree with it) its best to keep your opinions to yourself.. it will likely only piss her off.  (and she is likely sleep deprived.. and looking to snap at any minute)

I hope that you can implement these rules to keep your life-long friendships.  Feel free to share this list with your child-less friends!