This is a blog to remind myself how much I do not enjoy being pregnant, so in a few years, when I have amnesia and think "Oh, it wasn't that bad, lets have another baby!" I can read this. So this is going to be a letter to myself:
Dear Richelle,
If you are looking at this years from today (July 26th, 2011) and thinking you MAY want to have another baby.. I am just warning you, you HATE being pregnant. YOU are not one of those women who say it is this joyous experience and love every minute of it. (now I know that not everyone can get pregnant, and I am lucky to be able to carry my own children, just because I do not enjoy this process does not mean that I am not thankful that I can do it).. So let me just remind you that you have maybe enjoyed 3 days of this pregnancy total.
Through out this pregnancy, you have felt as though an alien has taken over your body. Before you even found out you were pregnant, you felt that your boobs were going to pop. Then came the nausea.. and you were one of the lucky ones that never actually threw up. You just felt like you were going to vomit on everything and everyone for about a month and a half. It was "magical"... Not to mention that from the very beginning with this one your face has been breaking out worse than it ever did when you were a teenager.
Also, you were never one of those women who got the "glow" .. in the beginning you looked like you were going to throw up.. and from the middle on, you have been having such awful hot flashes that you felt like you were going to pass out on a few occasions (remember the trip to the Toronto Zoo)...
And now.. just 2 weeks from your due date, you are feeling especially wonderful. You have a baby kicking the hell out of your ribs and stomach so much that the wonderful nausea you had in the beginning is back. Your back is so sore that Dereck has to rub it pretty much every night. You have 2 pulled ass muscles.. how that happened.. I have no idea, but when you are walking it feels like someone is walking behind you punching you in the ass. Its so bad that sometimes it cramps up to the point that you just can not walk.
And sleep? I am sure if your reading this.. years from today.. you have forgotten that every night you get up at least 4-5 times to pee. If your lucky, you can fall back to sleep.. but usually that is not the case. Your up for about 1/2 hour each pee.. by the time you fall back to sleep, you wake up in a panic feeling like you are going to piss your pants again.
These are just some of the most unpleasant things you have encountered this pregnancy. You had most of these when you were pregnant with Gray too, but he is such a great kid, and you love him so much that you forgot about most of them because he was WELL worth it! And I know that this one will be worth it too, but I just wanted to document exactly HOW much you dislike being pregnant just incase you get the baby bug again in a few years!
sincerely...
A very very very tired, sleep deprived, uncomfortable Richelle
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
We have come so far... right?
A friend of mine sent me this article, it was a clipping from an actual sex education textbook for girls printed in the early 60's in the UK...
"When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost important, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular you commitment to obey him.
"If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husbands wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
"Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register and reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."
My friend obviously sent this to me as a joke. To show how far we have really come in the past 50 years. And I THANK GOD that we have, because I do not think I would have survived back then!! (and neither would have my husband) As far as we have come, we do still have a bit to go before we are "equal" to our male counterparts. Now before you think "Oh God, here comes a feminist rant"... read this on Stereotypes about Feminism, and you should ask yourself if you are one too?
http://www.suite101.com/content/stereotypes-about-feminism-a51504
So before we go any farther.. I am a stay at home mom/wife. I am an attractive lady, I love my husband, I love sex, I am not whiney, and I have never burned a bra in my life. But that does not mean that I don't 100% agree with equal rights for men and women, because I do. And just over the past week I have been reminded that not all women (or men) are in the same mind frame that I am in... and until we are ALL on the same page it is going to be difficult to achieve equal rights.
As stated earlier I am a stay at home mom, and if you have been following my blog you know that I am just about 9 months pregnant. I am a part of "Mommy" groups on Facebook, as well as a great group of moms in the town that I am in. Just this week, another girl in my "mommy" group on Facebook, posted a question about what she should bring to the hospital in her bag for the arrival of her baby. Right before I read this post, I had JUST finished packing my own bag, so I wrote her a list of things that I felt that I would need, as well as what my new born baby would need. If you use Facebook, you know that if you comment on something, you then get updates every time that someone else write on the same post. I was blown away by the amount of women posting what this woman would need to bring for her HUSBAND so he did not get bored. These were women that were has already had children, and their husbands actually had the balls to complain to them that they were bored, and the next child they had they needed to pack for them also. Maybe it is just my crazy pregnant hormones that this stuck a nerve with.. but I SO badly wanted to post "What the hell is wrong with your husband that he can't pack for himself so he stays entertained??" And what kind of guy watches his wife in pain and agony for HOURS then has the balls to complain to her that he was bored??? One of the women said that "First time around, i was the focus. The socks, slippers, robe...the typicals. But I've now been listening to his whining and complaining the last 4yrs....so I'm packing for him too!!" Seriously.. If my husband had the NERVE to complain to me for 4 years that HE was bored at the hospital when we had our son, I would not be still calling him my husband... and we would not be having another one... What exactly is wrong with being the "focus" as she said during child birth??? You are going to be pushing a PERSON out of your vagina... or even worse.. they may be cutting one out of you. If your husband is going to be SO bored.. he can pack his own damn entertainment, are you HIS mother too?? YOUR job is to birth a baby, not entertain your husband!
Ok.. rant over. But it still pissed me off... with all of that said, I will leave this blog with a joke, compliments of Facebook:
"A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed, hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, have just realized that you might be a man..."
"When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost important, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular you commitment to obey him.
"If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husbands wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
"Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register and reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."
My friend obviously sent this to me as a joke. To show how far we have really come in the past 50 years. And I THANK GOD that we have, because I do not think I would have survived back then!! (and neither would have my husband) As far as we have come, we do still have a bit to go before we are "equal" to our male counterparts. Now before you think "Oh God, here comes a feminist rant"... read this on Stereotypes about Feminism, and you should ask yourself if you are one too?
http://www.suite101.com/content/stereotypes-about-feminism-a51504
So before we go any farther.. I am a stay at home mom/wife. I am an attractive lady, I love my husband, I love sex, I am not whiney, and I have never burned a bra in my life. But that does not mean that I don't 100% agree with equal rights for men and women, because I do. And just over the past week I have been reminded that not all women (or men) are in the same mind frame that I am in... and until we are ALL on the same page it is going to be difficult to achieve equal rights.
As stated earlier I am a stay at home mom, and if you have been following my blog you know that I am just about 9 months pregnant. I am a part of "Mommy" groups on Facebook, as well as a great group of moms in the town that I am in. Just this week, another girl in my "mommy" group on Facebook, posted a question about what she should bring to the hospital in her bag for the arrival of her baby. Right before I read this post, I had JUST finished packing my own bag, so I wrote her a list of things that I felt that I would need, as well as what my new born baby would need. If you use Facebook, you know that if you comment on something, you then get updates every time that someone else write on the same post. I was blown away by the amount of women posting what this woman would need to bring for her HUSBAND so he did not get bored. These were women that were has already had children, and their husbands actually had the balls to complain to them that they were bored, and the next child they had they needed to pack for them also. Maybe it is just my crazy pregnant hormones that this stuck a nerve with.. but I SO badly wanted to post "What the hell is wrong with your husband that he can't pack for himself so he stays entertained??" And what kind of guy watches his wife in pain and agony for HOURS then has the balls to complain to her that he was bored??? One of the women said that "First time around, i was the focus. The socks, slippers, robe...the typicals. But I've now been listening to his whining and complaining the last 4yrs....so I'm packing for him too!!" Seriously.. If my husband had the NERVE to complain to me for 4 years that HE was bored at the hospital when we had our son, I would not be still calling him my husband... and we would not be having another one... What exactly is wrong with being the "focus" as she said during child birth??? You are going to be pushing a PERSON out of your vagina... or even worse.. they may be cutting one out of you. If your husband is going to be SO bored.. he can pack his own damn entertainment, are you HIS mother too?? YOUR job is to birth a baby, not entertain your husband!
Ok.. rant over. But it still pissed me off... with all of that said, I will leave this blog with a joke, compliments of Facebook:
"A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed, hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, have just realized that you might be a man..."
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
To boob, or not to boob...
I did not breast feed my son. I really had no interest in it, by the end of my pregnancy, I was physically and emotionally drained, and I just felt like I needed my body back. I did not at all know what to expect with having a newborn at home, and I felt like the pressure of breast feeding was just too much for me to handle. I also knew how easily I get stressed out when I am sleep deprived. I NEED to get 8-9 hours of sleep, or I am just not the same person. I did not want to welcome a baby into the world just to give him a miserable stressed mother, I knew a happy mom makes a happy baby, and I have to say my son was one of the happiest babies I know. I knew that I would need help from my husband with feedings, and I wanted the option to be able to leave the baby with our parents over night if we had plans. Do I think that I was selfish in my decision? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. While my breast feeding friends were tied to their baby for 45 minutes every 2 hours.. and up all night feeding, my son was sleeping longer, and he ate about ever 3-4 hours for about 15 minutes. I have to admit it was pretty nice. I also was only taking off for 8 weeks after he was born, and the idea of being hooked up to a machine to pump made me feel like a cow. Maybe this was not the right mind set to have, but it was the one that I had.
In just a few short weeks.. we are expecting our second child, and I am faced with the decision of if I want to breast feed or not. Do I want to?... Honestly.. no. I don't. But I am still facing what feels like a HUGE decision. Quite a few things have changed since I was pregnant with my son. For one- We have moved to Canada. I have joined an AMAZING group of moms, who ALL seem to breast feed. They are not shy AT ALL about just whipping it out in public. I am not criticising this, I think breast feeding is natural and women should not have to go hide in their car or bathroom to feed their child, but a little bit of modesty would be nice. It seems like such a huge cultural difference than the US. Its not uncommon to see a women breastfeeding at the local mall in NJ, but she is covered up. Here, I have seen women in restaurants pull up their tank tops, pull down their bras, and just let it ALL hang out. Hey, if they are comfortable with the world seeing their boobs, more power to them, I am just not that comfortable.
Two- women here get a full year maternity leave. When ever I tell women that we get 6 whole weeks, they are completely mortified that the US puts such a small value on a mothers bonding time with her children. If I choose not to breast feed again, am I going to get stoned to death if I am out in public with my children, and I feel my infant from a bottle and not from the breast? Now, I am NOT the type of person to make my decisions based on what others think, and if the women I talk to on a daily basis choose to judge me for not breast feeding (if that is what I choose to do).. then I know that I really don't need to talk to them anyway. (I really cant stand idea pushers anyway).. but it is very hard not to consider breast feeding when it is such a HUGE part of the culture I am now a part of.
With all of this said, I have done my research, and I am very well educated on the benefits of breast feeding, but I still feel like it has to be good for the WHOLE family, and I have to make this decision based on what will be best for us. How I am going to be able to keep up with my 2 1/2 yr old with an infant attached to me every other hour? I have seen many moms neglect their older children just because they attached to the new one constantly. That is not fair to my son. I am worried about how he is going to adjust anyway, bottle feeding may be a way that he can help me with the baby and feel involved.
This will be a decision that I will have to think about as my due date get closer and closer. Right now I am thinking I may give it a shot, see how it works out for our family, and if its not a good fit, I can always stop. If I do give it a shot, and it doesn't work out, god help the poor nurse, lactation specialist, or fellow mom that tells me I am a horrible mother for it, because there is a good chance they will get verbally (if not physically) told to shove it!
In just a few short weeks.. we are expecting our second child, and I am faced with the decision of if I want to breast feed or not. Do I want to?... Honestly.. no. I don't. But I am still facing what feels like a HUGE decision. Quite a few things have changed since I was pregnant with my son. For one- We have moved to Canada. I have joined an AMAZING group of moms, who ALL seem to breast feed. They are not shy AT ALL about just whipping it out in public. I am not criticising this, I think breast feeding is natural and women should not have to go hide in their car or bathroom to feed their child, but a little bit of modesty would be nice. It seems like such a huge cultural difference than the US. Its not uncommon to see a women breastfeeding at the local mall in NJ, but she is covered up. Here, I have seen women in restaurants pull up their tank tops, pull down their bras, and just let it ALL hang out. Hey, if they are comfortable with the world seeing their boobs, more power to them, I am just not that comfortable.
Two- women here get a full year maternity leave. When ever I tell women that we get 6 whole weeks, they are completely mortified that the US puts such a small value on a mothers bonding time with her children. If I choose not to breast feed again, am I going to get stoned to death if I am out in public with my children, and I feel my infant from a bottle and not from the breast? Now, I am NOT the type of person to make my decisions based on what others think, and if the women I talk to on a daily basis choose to judge me for not breast feeding (if that is what I choose to do).. then I know that I really don't need to talk to them anyway. (I really cant stand idea pushers anyway).. but it is very hard not to consider breast feeding when it is such a HUGE part of the culture I am now a part of.
With all of this said, I have done my research, and I am very well educated on the benefits of breast feeding, but I still feel like it has to be good for the WHOLE family, and I have to make this decision based on what will be best for us. How I am going to be able to keep up with my 2 1/2 yr old with an infant attached to me every other hour? I have seen many moms neglect their older children just because they attached to the new one constantly. That is not fair to my son. I am worried about how he is going to adjust anyway, bottle feeding may be a way that he can help me with the baby and feel involved.
This will be a decision that I will have to think about as my due date get closer and closer. Right now I am thinking I may give it a shot, see how it works out for our family, and if its not a good fit, I can always stop. If I do give it a shot, and it doesn't work out, god help the poor nurse, lactation specialist, or fellow mom that tells me I am a horrible mother for it, because there is a good chance they will get verbally (if not physically) told to shove it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)