I am having a shitty day. I just looked at the clock and though, how the hell is it only 2:00?!? Then to realize... its not 2:00.. its 1:00... sigh. The day started like any normal day.. the kids up at the ass-crack of dawn. I pried my sleepy ass out of bed, got them and we headed downstairs. We all have breakfast, an hour and a half later, little lady is ready for a nap, and she goes down without a fight.. phew! Little man and I head downstairs so I can work out, my motivation was low, my patience was low, and I was tired as hell. I needed to change the batteries on the elliptical, so as I am trying to do it, little man keeps asking over and over in that toddle let-me-repeat-myself-over-and-over-till-you-give-in way... "mommy, I want some of your water, mommy I want some of your water...pleeeaaaaassssse" So I try to stay calm, "hunny, wait a minutes, mommy needs this water for when she works out, I will go get you your own water as soon as a fix this." Right there... my first mistake of the day.. I should have just handed over my water than passed out from dehydration on the machine, because asking little man to wait is just unreasonable... or I should have been one step ahead of the game and brought down a water for him to begin with like I usually do, but because I was up a lot with little lady last night, my sleep deprived brain was not thinking that I was dealing with an emotionally unstable 3 year old, I for a second, thought I was talking to a rational, reasonable human.
So little man throws himself on the ground, screaming, yelling, hitting the machine. I tell him "mommy does not have patience for this today, go sit in time out." You would have thought I just told him that Captain Hook killed Jake and the Pirates... he was furious and heart broken. He sat on the step for 15 minutes, hysterical, so any patience I had left was just gone. In my rational (yet sleep deprived brain) I KNOW there is no reason for this outburst, no reason for all of the snot, and all of the tears, no reason other than that he is 3. So I yell "That's it!! Your going back to bed!!" So he picks up his water and throws it at me... I again yell, "GET BACK ON THAT STEP!!"... He yells back "Mommy, I want to go to sleep!!" (Well I guess so!! Crying hysterically for 20 minutes really takes it out of a person!) So I carry him, as he wipes his boogers in my hair, sobbing with a red crying rash all over his little face, up to his room, where he gets under the covers says goodnight. As soon as I walk out of his room, little lady wakes up, all of the commotion of captain over-dramatic woke her up. I sprint to her room, give her the pacifier, hope and pray she goes back to sleep (thank god... she did!), and then return to the basement to finish my work out (all I wanted to do was finish my f*cking work out!), crying the whole way down the steps. (Because yes, THAT is going to solve the crazy 3 year old problems.. and the bad sleep habits of little lady.. crying is definitely the most rational thing to do...) And this was all before 10:30...
But it was all my fault. The whole damn thing. Sleep deprivation, crazy 3 year old.. all me, because I know better. Yesterday while we were at Chuck-E-Cheese, little lady was up for a whole 3 hours. She was in a great mood, so stupid me thought, oh she will be fine for the rest of the day/night. But I know her, and I know better. I know that she NEEDS to sleep every 2 hours... or she sleeps like hell that night. I am hoping that she grows out of that somewhat soon, because I am really starting to feel like I am being held hostage in my own home.... plus how am I going to explain that to her teachers? "Yes she will do all of the work, but can you please just let her sleep ever 2 hours, no no, I am not one of those crazy parents that wants special treatment.. I just want you to plan your whole days lessons around my daughter...ok?" We CAN go out, and she is in a great mood, but as punishment for making her leave the comforts of our home, she wakes up every few hours at night. Yet, I keep testing her, then paying the price that night and come the next day with sleep deprivation, lack of patience, and the inability to reason with a completely unreasonable little man. Yup, I know better.
No comments:
Post a Comment