changes

Today was a good day. We went to a morning play date, followed by lunch, a nap for my little guy (which means shower/photo editing/chores/chatting with friends time for me), bath time for little man, followed by snack and a movie (today it is Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs). This is roughly the formula for our days. We try to get out of the house for an activity, (whether it is a play date, or grocery shopping), lunch, nap, (I get my "me" time to shower, relax, or do work around the house), followed by an afternoon of toys or going to the park depending on the weather. Gray and I have really grown to love our little schedule of events. Everything (usually) gets done around the house, and we both get out and get to socialize with other people. I finally (after almost 2 1/2 years) feel like I have a handle on this being a mom of 1 thing....

With all of that said, in just 4-6 short little weeks, EVERYTHING is going to change. We are going to go from a family of 3 to a family of 4. I am going to have to shift from being a mother of 1 sweet little boy, to the mother of two... a toddler (who I am sure will be jealous).. and a newborn. Every time I think about the changes that are to come, I cant help by think "OH SHIT!" They are going to outnumber me.. there will be 2 of them! Double the laundry (at least.. babies seem to throw up and get poop on everything) How am I going to get out of the house with two of them! I have a hard enough time balancing Gray's "potty" bag, toy bag, my purse, and what ever else we may need every time we leave. How am I going to handle all of that PLUS a car seat, diaper bag, and a stroller? When am I going to have time to shower or do anything that needs to get done around the house? Should I just kiss my "me" time goodbye? And how is my little guy going to handle this huge change? He is going to go from being "the baby" to the "big brother", and how is he going to handle his new role? Right now he is gets all of mommy's and daddy's attention, how is he going to react to having to share the attention? Will he handle it the same way I did when my brother was born and ask to take the new baby back to where my mom got it?

I guess these are all questions that will get answered in time. While I am very excited to meet our little girl (and pretty much over this whole "pregnancy" thing), I have to admit that I am a little nervous to see how these changes are going to effect the dynamic of our family. I know these must be things that everyone who is expecting a second child must be apprehensive about, hell... these are things that anyone expecting any child thinks about, whether its the 1st or 5th. I also know that everything will work itself out, because things just have a way of doing that... There will be big changes, but we will be OK. I will learn how to balance, and Gray will learn how to be the "big brother." As with many other things in life, the anticipation and uneasiness of the unknown is usually much worse than what is to come. I know that I worry now, but as soon as I meet my new little girl, all of the hard work that is to come will be well worth it. :)