We all know that Facebook is the world of fake perfection… It’s a pissing contest to showcase who has the perfect family, the cutest kids, the perfect home, and most tropical vacation. Or it is the exact opposite, you know…those people on your list that air their each and every problem via the web “OMG, I just got the WORST splinter, FML!” (seriously… Get a damn hold of yourself!) I have to admit that I am guilty of the first offense… I put up far too many proud momma pictures, I constantly post the hilarious sayings of my 3 year old, and the new “tricks” of my 9 month old, and each and every sweet thing my husband does for me gets a shout out. I am not a complainer by nature, so if I am having a shitty day, I simply do not post anything. I don’t like to air my dirty laundry to all of my friends and family, I keep it to myself… But it is on those shitty days that I look at my friends and family picture perfect status and the little voice in my head says “what the fuck! How is their life so damn perfect!”… But then I have to remind myself, I only post the good stuff too.. And I know DAMN well that if you are a mom, and especially at stay at home mom, your life is FAR from perfect.
Today was one of my far from perfect days. I couldn’t even tell you WHY… But some days I just feel like I am drowning.. Some day I feel like I have no fuckin clue what I am doing.. And some days I just feel so damn alone… Some days I get jealous of my husband, that he gets to leave.. He gets to talk to adults all day, and solve REAL problems…. Not plead with an unreasonable 3 year old not to dump his yogurt on the dogs head. He gets a scheduled lunch break, with adults, where I grab a bite when I have time hiding behind the kitchen wall so my 3 year old doesn’t run over and say “hey, I need that!” Then eat everything on my plate even though he just ate an entire box of Mac and cheese…, he doesn’t have to deal with a 9 month old that shits, EVERY DAMN TIME I put her down for a nap… And today? He gets to go to the driving range after work. What did I do to work out? I was supposed to do yoga, but my 9 month old refused to nap, and talked and yelled on the monitor for an hour.. So about 45 minutes into my yoga (ya know where you are supposed to be able to relax and unwind)…. I sat on the floor and started to cry. Yup, like a damn little kid I laid on the floor and sobbed my eyes out… And now.. She is supposed to be napping but is again protesting.. Which is going to completely mess up her bedtime routine. I NEED these kids to go to bed at 8, their bed time is my only link to sanity some days, and today.. Well it looks like I am going to have to settle with being crazy. My kids are by far the best thing I have ever done with my life, but some days I just can not believe how fucking hard it is.
Today was one of my far from perfect days. I couldn’t even tell you WHY… But some days I just feel like I am drowning.. Some day I feel like I have no fuckin clue what I am doing.. And some days I just feel so damn alone… Some days I get jealous of my husband, that he gets to leave.. He gets to talk to adults all day, and solve REAL problems…. Not plead with an unreasonable 3 year old not to dump his yogurt on the dogs head. He gets a scheduled lunch break, with adults, where I grab a bite when I have time hiding behind the kitchen wall so my 3 year old doesn’t run over and say “hey, I need that!” Then eat everything on my plate even though he just ate an entire box of Mac and cheese…, he doesn’t have to deal with a 9 month old that shits, EVERY DAMN TIME I put her down for a nap… And today? He gets to go to the driving range after work. What did I do to work out? I was supposed to do yoga, but my 9 month old refused to nap, and talked and yelled on the monitor for an hour.. So about 45 minutes into my yoga (ya know where you are supposed to be able to relax and unwind)…. I sat on the floor and started to cry. Yup, like a damn little kid I laid on the floor and sobbed my eyes out… And now.. She is supposed to be napping but is again protesting.. Which is going to completely mess up her bedtime routine. I NEED these kids to go to bed at 8, their bed time is my only link to sanity some days, and today.. Well it looks like I am going to have to settle with being crazy. My kids are by far the best thing I have ever done with my life, but some days I just can not believe how fucking hard it is.
So today, my Facebook status will be missing. Next time you are having a shitty day, don’t look though all the “perfect life” statuses of your friends, look for the missing status, and know that you are not alone. We all have shitty days, just hang on, have a glass of wine with dinner, and hopefully tomorrow you will have lots of proud momma moments that will make your friends jealous.
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