I try really hard to lead by example. I know the "do as I say, not as I do" style of parenting just does not work. I try really hard to demonstrate patience, flexibility, and being understanding.. all things that my 3 year old needs a little work on. I try not to get stressed out, I try to with the flow.. I try, but I am not perfect. Not by any stretch of the imagination. As much as I strive to be a stellar role model, there are just some days the stars to do align, I feel as though I am being pulled in a hundred directions.. and to put it simply.. I lose my shit. Today was one of those days. I am not proud of myself when I lose my shit, but I do accept that I am only human, and that I can not be on-point all of the time.
This week has been a difficult week. The weather has been absolutely beautiful, and we had plans for pretty much every day.... that is until we all got sick. I am not going to go into THAT rant again, haha, but it meant canceling all of our plans, and placing ourselves in quarantine... again. This was little lady's first cold.. and she was NOT happy about it. And if you are reading this, you know very well that moms don't get sick days.. so taking care of two sick kids.. while you are sick yourself is not a fun walk in the park. If I were smart... I would have made it as relaxing of a week as possible for all of us... but as you also know, my husband and I started P90X 3 weeks ago.. I figured I wasn't dying.. I could "Bring it." Well working my ass off... while I am sick sick.. with two sick kids, on top of not getting a whole lot of sleep because of sick kids.. plus PMS.. is one recipe for a grumpy-ass Richelle....
This morning I was doing the Kenpo X Dvd (which is basically kicking and punching the hell out of the air for an hour.. fun times.. ) and little lady woke up 45 minutes early from her nap... PISSED. Her disruption in sleep only pissed me off even more.. not at her.. but at the girl who brought he sick kid to my house... So I go get little lady.. bring her downstairs... all while fuming that little lady should be sleeping.. and I should be working out... put my DVD back on.. and the dog walks over to my work out matt and throws up. So what do I do? Did I use this as an opportunity to show my three year old patience and compassion by stoping my work out (again) and making sure the dog is OK? Of course not... I screamed at the dog "Robbi!! STOP!!! I REALLY HATE YOU SOMETIMES!" I immediately felt like an asshole. Poor Robbi. She puts up with SO much from little man, she didn't deserve that.. the look on her little face was of pure heart-ache.. and what was worse.. I just told the dog that I hated her.. in front of my kids. I NEVER use the word hate!! (And for the record.. I love that damn dog!) But before I could even pause my DVD and tell Robbi I was sorry.. Gray ran over to her.. lifted her sad little head into his hands, looked into her big brown eyes and said "Its ok Robbi, it was just an accident. We will clean it up. Let me give you a hug and a kiss." I was so proud of my little man in that moment. Even when his mommy was displaying the way NOT to act, he stepped it up to give Robbi the love and encouragement that I should have given her in the first place. I told him I was very proud of him, and that mommy was wrong, and that its NOT ok to yell at Robbi or anyone like that, and then I hugged Robbi. Little man gave me a big hug and said "Its ok mommy" and gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek.
Somewhere along the line, I did something right with that little guy.
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