Day 48- I almost

I almost skipped writing again today... I am damn tired. Last night I was up to re-bink little lady at 1, get little man re-situated at 2, feed little lady at 3, then search the house for little mans damn "holly" car... He decided that he NEEDED it to sleep at 4 am... Sigh. I am so damn tired I can't seem to finish a...
Oh today we got our "apple" TV.. So I am pretty excited about that... I think we are officially apple whores. Anything that apple comes out with I NEED and can talk my husband into getting because its just damn cool... If only Apple would come out with some diamond earrings...
My inlaws come tomorrow, it will be nice to have visitors again so soon! I am going to try to keep writing while they are here, and hopefully not fall off the earth again... though sleep depravation has made me a little loopy, did I tell you I almost...

Day 47-off the grid

Ok.. so this isn't actually day 47..  I have missed a few days.  My mom was in town and I really just needed a mini-vaction from writing.  But I am back!  I am going to try to keep writing every day,  the longer I go without writing, the more stumped I am for ideas to write about.
It was so nice to have my mom and her fiance here for a few days, we haven't seen any family since we had been home for Christmas.  I was starting to go a little crazy.  We hung at the house saturday, had some MUCH needed drinks saturday night, shopping sunday, followed by a date night Sunday night.  My husband and I actually got out to see an ADULT movie, and dinner without a little person yelling, or taking food off our plate. It was pretty nice!  Yesterday they left, so I was in my usual "post visitor" depression all day.. but today we had a play date so I am feeling OK again.
I will say that I ate like CRAP while my mom was here, so I am REALLY not looking forward to the big weigh-in tonight!!

Day 46-Disclaimer and Apology

A few weeks ago I wrote A letter to moms who bring their sick kids on play dates.. it wasn't pretty.  I was sleep deprived, annoyed, and probably came off like a total bitch.  While I still stand behind everything I said in that letter, I do need to make a disclaimer... and a public apology.

This morning I got an email from a friend that we had a play date with that week.  She was worried that I was talking about her, because she thinks her daughter may have had a slight runny nose that day.  My heart fell to my stomach, I feel terrible that she feels like it was about her.  When I was writing that blog, I meant to put in a disclaimer that it wasn't about any of my friends. I did not even know the moms that I was writing about, they just really pissed me off. We had a few play dates in public places that week as well, play gyms etc.  As a general rule, I don't blog about my friends.  It is so hard to find mommy friends that you really get along with, so if we are friends, I am going to protect that friendship as the rarity that it is, and I promise not to put you on blast on my blog.

So I want to apologize to any friends that I may have offended.. I am truly sorry.. but just know the blogs are not about you!  And if I am not friends with you and I offended you?  Well.. I am ok with that ;)

Day 45- week 5/6 update

Last week out meeting with SFT and the lovely ladies of FC was canceled because it was valentines day. It was nice to be able to spend the night with my family, and indulge in some non-whole wheat pasta! I have been a little more relaxed in my diet over the past 2 weeks, I was still following the lower carb(ish) and high protein plan.. But I did indulge in a few sugary sweets... Well, it showed last night at my weigh in. Over the past two weeks, even though I have been working my ass off on the elliptical and Pilates, I only lost a pound. I told myself that I was gaining muscle weight, but I am kinda thinking it is because I snuck in some cookies, few chocolates, and that dinner of regular pasta. But that's ok, I am
Sticking with the plan, getting back on the wagon, and I am going to lose the extra 10 lbs.
I can say that in the beginning of this I could barely stay on the elliptical for 20 minutes without feeling like I was going throw up a lung.. Now I can easily do 40, but then I get bored. So now I am on a quest to find something I enjoy doing more than running on a hamster wheel staring at a basement wall... But no matter what... Last 10 lbs... Your going down!

Today I am thankful for Gray always making me laugh. Today he found a toy car wheel on the floor, I asked him to throw it away, and he looked at me, completely appalled, and totally serious and said "mommy! I can't throw this away! It costs money!"

Day 44- Rules to bridging the gap between mommies and their child-less friends

It happens to the best of friends.  One day you are best buds, then your friend, who was once as enthusiastic about shopping, girls nights, and gossip as you...is suddenly in the world of diapers and sleepless nights.  Suddenly she doesn’t have the time (or energy) to gossip for hours about the newest celeb couples, to go shopping for the perfect shoes, or meet up for drinks after work.  Your best friend is now wearing mom jeans, has boogers in her hair, and takes days.. sometimes weeks to respond to your texts.

When I entered into the world of mommy-hood, I was one of the first of my friends.  Many articles that I read about bridging the gap between mommy-hood, and child-less friends pretty much said that it is all but impossible, and that I needed to find “mommy” friends.  Well F-that.  I just had a baby, I was F*cking exhausted.   I didn’t have time to make new damn friends!!  I liked the ones that I had, I wasn’t about to discard them because I chose to make a little shit and booger machine and they still had their freedom!  At times it was difficult to bridge the gap.. my child-less friends just didn’t *get it* sometimes.. but I had to stop and remember, before I had kids.. and I had FREEDOM.. I didn’t *get it* either.  I have decided to make a list of rules for friends to follow on bridging the gap.  Hopefully these rules will be able to help you keep friendships of your own.

Rules for Mommies:

*Do not ONLY talk about your baby.  Yes.. he is the MOST important thing in your life.  Your whole world, when you eat, sleep, shower, and go to the bathroom revolves around this new little person.  And your best friend LOVES your new little one as well, but you have to remember that her WHOLE world does not revolve around him.  Its ok to talk about your baby, but don’t let him be the ONLY thing you talk about.. you will bore the hell out of your friend.

*When you do talk about your baby, reserve talking about baby shit (literally) with your mommy friends.  (I was recently at a mommys only dinner.. and the conversation took a turn to baby turds.. totally acceptable with mommy friends.  No one flinched when we were openly talking about diarrhea at the dinner table)  Your child-less friends will not react so nonchalantly.. they quite frankly don’t care about your babies shit, the color, the texture, or the consistency.

*Make time to call/text/email your child-less friends.  Before you had your baby, you kept in contact daily, don’t fall off of the earth because the baby is here.  Chances are your friend is missing you, a LOT, let her know that even though your life is upside down.. you are missing her as well.

*Remember why you were friends in the first place and what your similar interests are.  Maybe fashion, celeb gossip, or martinis does not interest you all that much in your sleep-deprived state, (all you want to do is sleep damn it!).. but they are some things that you are your friend bonded over.  Make time to still chat about these things, it will show your friend that she is still important, and it will make you feel more human-like.. and less like a zombie with diaper cream crusted on your skinny jeans.

*Try to stay current in what is going on in their life.  Again, this goes back to not only talking about your baby, but make sure you take an interest in her life as well.  You might not think that the umpteenth fight she had with her boyfriend over who cleans the kitchen after dinner is that important in the grand scheme of things, but if it is important to HER, you should listen and let her know that you still care.

*Make time for adult-only time.  You love your baby more than anything.  Your friend loves your bundle of joy as well.  But you know what else your friend loves?  YOU.  Its hard to be YOU when you are constantly attending to the needs of your little bundle of joy, you will be distracted, unable to finish a thought (let alone a sentence) and that's not very good “quality” time with your friend.  If at all possible, if you have a sitter you are comfortable with, take advantage of it!  Leave the little one with your partner, a grandparent, cousin (just someone you trust) and get away for a little girl time!  I know it is hard to leave your little love, but trust me, you will be so  grateful to feel like an adult, and your friend will appreciate having some time with her friend!

Rules for Friends:

*Go visit your friend after she has the baby.  Maybe babies aren’t your “thing”... but for the love of god GO see your friend.  Having a baby is the BIGGEST thing that has happened in her life, so even if you deep down hate children, get your ass in your car and go support your friend.  Isolation after having a baby can be a factor in post-pardum depression, so if you love your friend, go make sure she knows that you are not going to abandon her because she now has a baby!

*Do not be offended if your friend falls off the earth briefly.  Your friend just had her whole world taken and dropped on his head.  Having a baby changes everything, your friend’s entire schedule is being determined by a little person, so if she doesn’t text/email/call for a few weeks, try not to be offended.  She still loves you,  your friend is still in the sleep-deprived, booger-crusted, shell of a person, be patient!

*Make time for kid-friendly activities.  In my rules for mommies I asked mommies to make time for adult time, but you also need to make time for baby.  This little person is THE most important thing to your friend, and if you don’t make time to make your friend feel like this little extension of herself has a place in your life too, you can pretty much kiss your friendship good-bye.  

*Do not be offended if your friend has to bail on you to tend to her baby.  Maybe you guys had awesome plans to go to a concert of your favorite band, or maybe drinks on a friday night, but 2 hours before you need to leave your friend calls and says she has to cancel because the baby is sick, or the sitter bailed.  I know it is disappointing.. believe me  your friend is disappointed too.  Guilt tripping your friend is NOT going to help the situation.

*Don’t count her out for adult-only activities.  Yes, maybe she has had to cancel a few times because of baby-related mishaps.. but you should always give her the option to tag along to the hip new restaurant, or other fun adult-only outing.  Do not assume that because it is not a baby-friendly activity, your friend will not want to go, just give her enough time to find a sitter.  Chances are, your friend is probably starved for some adult activity!

*Do not give unsolicited baby advice!!  Maybe you have read all of the baby books, know all of the theories, and are a early-childhood expert... but please.. please.. please.. do not give your friend advice on how to parent her baby (unless she specifically asks you)  Until you have had a little one of your own, its kinda like women saying they know what its like to have a penis... we really have no clue.  Your friend likely has a parenting style all of her own (and even if you disagree with it) its best to keep your opinions to yourself.. it will likely only piss her off.  (and she is likely sleep deprived.. and looking to snap at any minute)

I hope that you can implement these rules to keep your life-long friendships.  Feel free to share this list with your child-less friends!

Day 42 and 43

I completely forgot to write yesterday, it was a pretty uneventful day.. We just hung around the house all day. I wanted to take little man ice skating, but I completely forgot it was Sunday until 4:00 and the session was over.

Today dereck had off for family day... Again we didn't do too much. I spend allllll day working on a portrait drawing. It was nice a spend a whole day doing art, but I need to stop procrastinating so damn much! I am supposed to give it to the client tomorrow, and I did the whole damn thing today. That reminds me... I need to up my prices.. This drawing took me about 7 hours, so I barely made minimum wage on it... I'm attaching it... But after I posted it on FB I got an email from someone asking for 2 portrait drawing. While I am not making a killing on my work.. It is nice to be something other than mommy for a change :)

Day 41- the end of binkies

We have been telling our almost 3 year old for a year now that he is too old for binkies and he needed to be done with them. We got him down to only night time use, then we got lazy. Him using his bink meant he was quiet, and soothing himself to sleep. We didn't have to deal with tears, or fighting, it was just easy. But as he nears his third birthday, we knew it was time. We had been talking about a strategy for weeks on how to accomplish the task... The plan? Have little man gather all of his binkies, take him to the toy store, and tell him can pick out any toy he wants... We were desperate, we would have really bought any toy. So today, as I got ready to do my weekly outing of grocery shopping/errands alone, (my ONLY alone time all week) my husband says to little man "hey! Why don't you go get all your binkies, and you can buy a new toy with it! You can go shopping with mommy!"... And just like that... I lost my alone time... But this time I was Ok with it if it meant that little man would willingly give up his bink.
So we gather all of the binkies, get him dressed and ready to go, and head to the store. The whole way to the store he was chatting up a storm about how he was going to get a cool dinosaur toy, and give the lady his binks. We go and find the perfect toy, head to the register... Moment of truth... Little man willingly hands over his pacifiers! Phew! The cashier was so awesome about the whole thing, she made a huge deal about it and told little man she was so proud of him, as did the other customers in line. Seeing little mans face light up with a huge smile was worth missing my alone time this week.
After the toy store, we headed to the grocery store, and little man clutched into his new dinosaur the whole time, so proud of himself for being a big boy. When we got home little man tried to tell my husband that he could have a glass of wine because he was big now, we told him he had to be 21, and he said "I am 3... That's big enough!", then when we asked him if he was ready for bed he said, "no, im big now, I'm not going to sleep anymore." haha
I guess we will see how tonight goes, he was a little upset at bed time that he did not have his binkies, but he seemed to understand that he left them at the store. Now I will wish, hope, and pray that we all sleep tonight!