Day 42 and 43

I completely forgot to write yesterday, it was a pretty uneventful day.. We just hung around the house all day. I wanted to take little man ice skating, but I completely forgot it was Sunday until 4:00 and the session was over.

Today dereck had off for family day... Again we didn't do too much. I spend allllll day working on a portrait drawing. It was nice a spend a whole day doing art, but I need to stop procrastinating so damn much! I am supposed to give it to the client tomorrow, and I did the whole damn thing today. That reminds me... I need to up my prices.. This drawing took me about 7 hours, so I barely made minimum wage on it... I'm attaching it... But after I posted it on FB I got an email from someone asking for 2 portrait drawing. While I am not making a killing on my work.. It is nice to be something other than mommy for a change :)

Day 41- the end of binkies

We have been telling our almost 3 year old for a year now that he is too old for binkies and he needed to be done with them. We got him down to only night time use, then we got lazy. Him using his bink meant he was quiet, and soothing himself to sleep. We didn't have to deal with tears, or fighting, it was just easy. But as he nears his third birthday, we knew it was time. We had been talking about a strategy for weeks on how to accomplish the task... The plan? Have little man gather all of his binkies, take him to the toy store, and tell him can pick out any toy he wants... We were desperate, we would have really bought any toy. So today, as I got ready to do my weekly outing of grocery shopping/errands alone, (my ONLY alone time all week) my husband says to little man "hey! Why don't you go get all your binkies, and you can buy a new toy with it! You can go shopping with mommy!"... And just like that... I lost my alone time... But this time I was Ok with it if it meant that little man would willingly give up his bink.
So we gather all of the binkies, get him dressed and ready to go, and head to the store. The whole way to the store he was chatting up a storm about how he was going to get a cool dinosaur toy, and give the lady his binks. We go and find the perfect toy, head to the register... Moment of truth... Little man willingly hands over his pacifiers! Phew! The cashier was so awesome about the whole thing, she made a huge deal about it and told little man she was so proud of him, as did the other customers in line. Seeing little mans face light up with a huge smile was worth missing my alone time this week.
After the toy store, we headed to the grocery store, and little man clutched into his new dinosaur the whole time, so proud of himself for being a big boy. When we got home little man tried to tell my husband that he could have a glass of wine because he was big now, we told him he had to be 21, and he said "I am 3... That's big enough!", then when we asked him if he was ready for bed he said, "no, im big now, I'm not going to sleep anymore." haha
I guess we will see how tonight goes, he was a little upset at bed time that he did not have his binkies, but he seemed to understand that he left them at the store. Now I will wish, hope, and pray that we all sleep tonight!

Post 40-expert

Since my overly opinionated, political, pissed off rant yesterday on how Chris Christie is failing public schools and the ignorance of some people, I have had two people request for me to write about topics. It seems as though some people are starting to think I am some kind of an expert, HA. Just so everyone is clear... I have no f*cking clue what I am doing most of the time, but it is nice that people are valuing my opinions... It's nice to know my thoughts are not waisted on an irrational 3 year old and a temperamental 6 month old. I have felt like a real person.. With real ideas.. And not just a large snot rag and poo-wiper. Next week I am going to tackle the two subjects I have been asked about, the guy who shot his daughters laptop, and how to maintain friendships with kid-less friends.

But for now my gratitude journal, I have been slacking in it lately!

Today I am grateful that somewhere out there my thoughts are being heard.

Day 39- A Pissing Contest

This isn’t my “usual” mommy blog.  This isn’t really about MY children.. but it is about children... so I am going to go with it.  Its much more political than I usually go, but those of you that know me, know that I have a very hard time biting my tongue when it comes to things I am passionate about... so here it goes....

My mom had up a post on her FB wall about the Governor of NJ making it mandatory that NJ flies its flags at half staff to honor Whitney Houston.  I am going to included my mom’s post, as well as my response.  I am going to leave out everyone else... except one lady who left a post on my response... but then deleted it because she didn’t want to start a “pissing contest” (her words) with me.  Now keep in mind I have NO idea who this woman is, but her response infuriated me SO much that I HAVE to put my response to her out there.  Also, please keep in mind that my mom’s FB is private, as is mine.  I took a few uncalled for stabs at Governor Christie, they were hits below the belt that really have nothing to do with his lack of competence as a position of power in the state of NJ.  Since I am now making my response public, I want to publicly apologize for the comments about his large ass.

My Mom’s FB Status:

Mom: OK so I was trying to let this go but those of you who know me know I can't let things go.. Let me start this by saying I am very sorry for Whitney Houston's. death. Her daughter will suffer for a long time because of her mothers addictions..
But Really Gov. Christie making it mandatory in the state of NJ to fly flags at half staff for Whitney is ridiculous. She was a singer not a Hero !!! how may flags have been flown half staff for our military hero's or dr's who save lives everyday??

Me: Really mom?? You can't let things go? haha.. now don't get me started on Christie! haha.. he is a total asshole tool-bag that has his priorities backwards and shoved up his own very very large ass.. You are right.. it is sad that she died. Addiction is a sad disease.. and its a shame that she lost her battle with it.. but like you said, she was not a hero... if NJ had its flags at half staff for every person that lost their battle with addiction.. it would never be a full staff. Maybe instead he should put funding BACK into school.. and into funding that gives kids an education of what the dangers of addiction can do.. put enough teachers in the class-rooms and hallways to really be able to monitor our youth and prevent them from falling into this cycle. There are so many poor districts in NJ that NEED the funding that HE cut... those kids can't get the education to break the cycle of addiction and crime in their poor neighborhoods... no lets not try to prevent problems by helping our youth.. lets as a state honor an addict. Asshole

And here is the response that was later deleted by the author.. again, I don’t know her, or anything about her. I am not going to include her name or initials, because I am posting this on my mom’s wall as well, if the person reads this.... she knows who she is:

"Richelle as far as putting the money into the poor districts it doesn’t work because these kids have no home life of home support n without that the schools cannot do their job properly n I am tired of paying for these parents that cant take care of their kids n raise them properly, all the money in the world cant stop their parents from their personal problems. The education is there they r not taking a hold on what they have in front of them. Education begins at home the teachers job is not to raise them.or teach them right from wrong! I am not a teacher!!!!! I am a dental assistant so don’t think Im saying this because I am a teacher!!!! Just a taxpayer tired of hearing about education for these kids!!!! I don’t always agree with everything Christie does either just saying!"

Ok.. I was going to let this go, but I literally lost sleep over this last night.  I know that she isn’t the only person that thinks this way.. so I just HAVE to throw my two-cents in there.  So Here I go.

To the person who left that message.. and anyone else that follows this line of thinking:

You really did not have to point out that you are not a teacher, it is very clear from your point of view of America’s troubles youth that you really do no know very much about NJ’s education system, nor do you care to fix it.  I will say that you are right in that a lot of the students that live in poor districts that are ridden with drug problems do not have a great home life.  They often have parents that are stuck in the cycle of drug addiction themselves, or that are in and out of jail for various reasons.  You are also right in that many of the parents in these situations do not know how to properly raise their children, they are stuck in an ongoing cycle of poverty, drug addiction, and crime... they themselves probably did not have the best upbringing.  But while you say this from the comforts of upper middle class, I am going to go ahead and assume that you have always lived an comfortable life.  You have probably never had to walk down streets on your way home from school and be scared for your life, you have never had to be terrified that when you came home from school you might find mom or dad overdosed in the living room.  You probably also never had the pressure of having to join a gang because that may be the only way you can get protection in your crime-ridden neighborhood.  I can say all of these things because while I do not know you personally, I know what school you went to, and it is not one of a poor community.  

So what do YOU suggest we, as a community do?  Do we tell those poor kids, sorry for your luck, sorry you got brought into the world by drug addict parents, sorry that you weren’t lucky enough to be born into the upper-middle class?  Sucks for you, but I am sick of my hard earned tax dollars paying for your education?  I am “tired of hearing about education for these kids?”... after all... if you were born into an unfortunate situation your just not worth it?

Unfortunately many of the students in poor districts hear from home that they are not worth it.. they are told they are a burden to their parents, and if they are not physically told, they feel it.  For many of these students, school is their safe haven.  Teachers and coaches are their heroes.  Unfortunately, yes, maybe students in poor districts do fall back into the cycle of poverty, drug abuse, and crime, but there are students that fight like hell to get out of there.  Those students would not have a chance in hell if it were not for the tax dollars that go into schools.  For some of these students, the only chance they have of getting out of the cycle is their education, and WE as a community owe it to them to give them the same one as those students LUCKY enough to be born into communities like the one that YOU lived in.

I was a teacher, so let me educate you on what happens when schools lose funding essential to educate their students.  The first thing that gets cut is after school activities.  I always hear the argument that “I don’t think my tax dollars should go to sports/clubs anyway, if a kid wants to play a sport his parents should have to pay for the equipment.”... This argument is all well in good in districts that the parents can afford to pay for extracurriculars, but unfortunately the poorest districts do not have this luxury.  Taking after school activities away is a death sentence to some of these students.  There was a teacher that I used to work with that always said football saved his life.  He grew up in a poor district, did not have the best home life, but he formed a great relationship with his football coach, and having something so do each day after school kept him off of the streets.  Football was his ticket out of the ghetto, and this is the case for many students in poor districts.  After school activities keep them busy, out of trouble, and off of drugs.

Next thing that gets cut is “extra” spending.  When I say extra spending I do not mean for a new luxurious teachers room, nor I have ever once walked the halls of a school and seen piles of money, your precious hard-earned tax dollars.. When I say extra spending,  I mean for new books, technology and various resources that students in affluent districts have the luxury of.  Many poor districts simply do not have up-to-date resources.  So when you say the “education is there”... its really not.  Its not the same education that is going on in the more well-off districts.  Taking funding away from these schools is telling these students, “you are not worth the same education, you are just going to waist it anyway.” 

And finally, when you take funding away from school, teachers get cut, as do coaches and various other essential staff.  You say “Education begins at home the teachers job is not to raise them or teach them right from wrong!”.. sure.. in a perfect world the education would start at home.  Parents would teach their children right from wrong.. but what if those parents never were never taught?  Teacher do more than teach a lesson for 40 minutes a class, teachers are mentors and roll models for so many students.  In these poorer districts, teacher are often the ONLY positive roll model in the student’s life.  Great teachers change lives, and in the cases of the students in less than fortunate situations, great teachers save lives, as do great coaches, and other school staff and faculty that is often on the chopping block when school funding is cut.  Cutting teachers means very large class sizes, prohibiting teachers to build one on one (sometimes life saving) relationships with students who so desperately need it.

So when you say “Richelle as far as putting the money into the poor districts it doesn’t work”... I would say, when then does work?  What is your master plan?  Because telling these students that they are SOL because of the cards there were dealt is not an option that I can get behind.  Maybe you suggest that we just buy them all crack pipes with your tax dollars?  Maybe they will all OD and the problem with be solved.. because obviously (to you),  those kids less fortunate are just not worth it.  That would certainly solve your problem of “hearing about education for these kids”, what an unfortunate “problem” for you, as you sit watching from upper middle class..really, truly, heartbreaking.

Day 38-Valentines Day... The Fantasy Vs. The Reality

If you are a parent... you know that Valentines day changes once you have kids.  Its no longer ALL about you and your significant other, you have made new little people to love so much that your heart just could pop.  Going out to dinner for V-day is not a luxury afforded to you.. unless you have a babysitter who has nothing better to do on V-day. (or if you are us.. NO baby sitter in the country at all)... I could go on and on about how things have changed.. but if your a parent.. you already know.

This is about valentines day with kids... the fantasy that was going to happened in my head... and then when ACTUALLY happened.

This is my first Valentines day as a mother of two, my first valentines day as a SAHM, and my first in a new country with no one I really know.  I knew that Valentines day was not going to include a romantic candle-lit dinner with my husband, with no sitter it is just not an option... so I decided I was going to make the best of this Valentines day with my little loves, as well as my big one.  This is how the day was going to go down... in my head:

~The kids and I would wake up, and I would make special heart-shaped pancakes for little man, and some fresh banana pure for little lady.  They were going to adore it, and adore me for being such a super-awesome mom.

~When little lady took her nap, little man and I were going to make special heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies for my husband. 

~Because little lady was going to take a nice 2 hour nap, I was going to set little man up with a movie after awesome-cooking baking, and I was going to take a shower, and even shave my legs!

~Upon waking up from her afternoon nap we would all hop in the car and go to a play date with one of Gray’s favorite friends.  I was going to bring a small plate of heart-shaped cookies for the little boy, and his mom (one of my only friends up here) was going to marvel at what a domestic goddess I am. (ok.. stop laughing and keep reading)

~After the play date, little lady was going to take her final nap when we got home, little man and I were going to play until my husband got home with take-out, 2 dozen red roses from a florist (not a grocery store) and new diamond earrings (I have only been hinting for 4 years)

~We would give the kids their Valentines gifts, and they love them, and us for being so awesome.

~We would all eat dinner together, little man was going to eat everything on his plate, as was little lady.  After dinner we would all indulge in the yummy heart-shaped cookies myself and little man made together.

~We would all retire to the family room, playing games until bed time, at at promptly 8:00pm, both kids would be sound asleep in their beds.. neither of them would put up a fight.. they were going to do this for me, because they love me, and its Valentines day.

Once the kids were asleep, my husband and I would curl up on the sofa, and watch a sappy movie, because he loves me and its Valentines day (damn-it!)

OK. Now for the reality.  If you know us personally, you should stop laughing now, and read on.  This is how it REALLY went down:

~The kids and I woke up, came downstairs, and I asked little man if he wanted pancakes.  He yelled, “YES!!  I LOVE PANCAKES!!” So I went to take the mix out, only to realize that it was almost empty... so I mixed the pancake mix with a little bit of flour and baking powder, how different could it be?  As I poured the cement-like batter onto the griddle, I quickly realized that I was not going to be able to shape them into hearts.  Little man is easy to please though, and after drowning them in syrup, he gobbled up two, plus a banana.

~I made little lady her fresh banana puree... and she spit it all out, looking at me like “WHY... WHY WOULD YOU FEED ME THAT SH*T!”

~Little lady took her nap and little man and I were about to make cookies.. only for me to realize that I forgot to get butter.  Damn it... But it was OK.. We could make chocolate covered strawberries!

~F*ck... I somehow messed up the chocolate.. I think I bought the wrong kind.. and it didn’t melt right... so what did I do?  I ate about a 1/2 cup of it.. there goes the diet!

~Little lady woke up from her nap early.. thats OK.. she would take her 2 hour nap later.

~Lunch with the kids-pretty uneventful-yay!

~Put little lady down for her afternoon nap, she would DEFINITELY sleep for 2 hours this time!  I set little man up with a movie, he told me he was “SO SLEEPY” and needed a nap.. until I told him I was taking a shower.... then he insisted that he was “Very stinky, and he NEEDED a shower.”  There was no talking him out of it.... there goes shaving my legs.

~Little lady woke up after 40 minutes with a massive blow-out diaper... awesome... so I had to cancel our afternoon play date because little lady was going to need another nap right in the middle of it.

~I gave the kids their presents, little man told me “I LOVE THIS!!!”.. then two minutes later threw the stuffed monkey on the floor and said “I no yike this monkey... but i LOVE the chocolate.  Little lady chewed on the nose of her Minnie Mouse... I guess that means she likes it?

~I placed  my order for our take out, then little lady woke up from her final nap (again only 40 minutes.. no 2 hour nap for her!).  I went upstairs to get her, and little man pissed his pants.

~I came downstairs to mr. pee-pee pants, and an email from the restaurant that they were no longer taking orders (even though their website said they were)... shit... I didn’t take anything out for dinner!

~Called my husband to tell him we had no dinner, and he told me he was at the grocery store buying me a present anyway, so he would pick something up.

~He came home with dinner.. a card, and ice cream (there goes the diet... again).. no diamond earrings.. and no roses :(... (but really.. I have been hinting for 4 years... I think its just not going to happen.. and I kill plants in record speed)

~Because little lady skipped her long nap, I had to put her to bed early, but I missed her “bedtime window” by 10 WHOLE minutes, so she cried though out our whole dinner.

~ At 7:30 little man stated that he needed to go to bed early, phew!

~after an hour of fussing from little lady she did go to sleep by 8:00 (yay!)

~My husband and I did get to snuggle on the sofa and watch a sappy girly movie... :)... because it was Valentines day... and he loves me... damn it!

Didn't go quite as planned... but nothing really ever does.. it was still a perfect day with my loves <3

Day 37- gratitude log

I am working on a long post about Valentines day, so I will count that as today and tomorrow blog.. But I forgot to state why I was grateful yesterday.

Feb 13- I am grateful for NOT having to take two kids to a busy pediatric clinic.. And that little ladies eye is ok :)

Feb 14- today I am grateful for my two little loves, as well as my big one :)

Day 36- I thought this was supposed to get easier?

I am a nut...full blown lunatic when it comes to the health of my kids.  Little man has always gotten really high fevers when he is sick, which means I have had about 15 panic attacks since he has been born.  When he was 4 months old, he had a mild case of "the runs", and I made my husband take rush us to the ER because I was certain that our happy, playing, alert baby was severely dehydrated and was in dire need of IV fluids.  I have placed countless hysterical phone calls to the pediatrician because I was SURE something was desperately, horribly wrong... and each time, he was just fine.  Every symptom he had, I would quickly run to Dr. Google, read all of the baby forums and message boards, where other crazy-ass parents would say things like "go with your instinct, mommy knows best..." Well, if I had gone with my instincts, little man would have been quarantined in a hospital with around the clock care for every child-hood virus he has encountered, you may think I am exaggerating, but sadly I am this bat-shit crazy.  I would talk to "seasoned" moms, and they would assure me that I was only like this because I was a new mom.  All new moms were THIS crazy, and when I had my next it would take her spleen falling out of her nose for me to take her to the Dr.  I was hoping, and praying that with my next, I would relax a little.. HA.

Little lady has not encountered many little germs because I have been lucky enough to be a stay at home mom with her.  When I had little man, I was a working mom, so he  got ALL of the little-person illnesses from day care.  But today, little lady had her first health "issue", and I wish that I could say that I handled it with the poise and grace that the "seasoned" moms promised me I would... but unfortunately, I am still a nut-case.  Little lady woke up this morning with her left eye looking a little puffy, and red around it.  It didn't look too serious, just like she has maybe been rubbing it.  I got her up, got her changed, and noticed that her left eye looked like it had something in it.  As the morning went on, I noticed that what ever it was, wasn't going away.  I tried to wipe her eye with a warm wash cloth, and she freaked out.  She didn't want me anywhere near her eye, so what do I do?  I google it of course!  I self-diagnosed little lady with a scratched cornea, and all of the forums were telling me to take her to the ER ASAP because it could damage her eye permanently.  The crazy side of me told me to get her ass in the car RIGHT away and take her to the hospital, my god... what if her eye FELL OUT because I didn't react soon enough!!  She would never forgive me if she had to wear a patch for the rest of her life!  Thankfully, I DO also have a rational side... it usually gets ignored in these situations, but the rational side of me said to just wait until the pediatric clinic opened at 3:15 (this was all happening around 1).. I would have waited in the ER room for a few hours anyway, she wasn't rubbing her eye, she was still playing, it just didn't look so great.  So I fought my urge to pack her up and leave, and put her down for her nap.  Her whole nap I was pretty much a nervous wreck.  At 3:10 little lady woke up, I had the car packed, little man ready to go, I go up to her room to get her ready to go to the clinic.  I lay her on her changing table, look at her little eyes, and they are fine.  Both of them.  Perfectly fine.  Must have been a little fuzz, or hair that was being stubborn, but I am sure glad that I listened to my rational side!  I sure would have felt like an asshole taking her to the ER for an eye booger!

And I thought this was supposed to get easier with the second!!!???!!